Borderline | #WATTYS2017

Chapter six

 Celeste

Do you ever feel like your life just changes? Like one minute it could be this roller coaster and it feels like it's all going to crash and burn and then it suddenly turns up and it feels like you're shooting up above your head but really you're right where you need to be? That's how I feel when I'm with Jaxon and I know it sounds stupid and I shouldn't even feel this way because I just met him. It's been a month since everything happened with him moving in and him telling me everything.

I haven't touched a single drug since then and he's working on quitting smoking cigarettes he currently just vapes. I'm proud of him but I feel like I'm falling in love, and not slowly either. It feels like every single feeling for him just hit me at once like a truck but he doesn't feel the same way he can't and he never will. I would do anything for him at this point even if it meant taking the broken pieces of me just to mend him back together.

I started writing, only little things like how I feel and what I'm doing when Jaxon is away at work. he got a job so that he can start helping me with paying the bills around here.

I feel like the whole world stops when he comes around, it's easy for people like me to fall in love with people like him but it always ends the same way, it's like some boring love story where the girl falls for the guy and the guy leaves because there's something wrong with her and then she dies. That's how they all end up, but instead of me dying I'll just become some lonely old lady with 5 cats.

"You seem to be in deep thought what are you thinking about Celeste?" Miss Welsh asked me. I started seeing a therapist to help me with everything that's happened.

"Oh, nothing just thinking" I told her and she smiled at me.

"You're thinking about that boy aren't you" She said, Miss Welsh is really nice. Not too long ago is when she became a therapist her husband died and that inspired her to try to help other people through their problems, but I also feel like it's a way to cope with her dead husband.

"Maybe just a little" I told her as I blushed a little thinking about him. She looked at me examining my features and after she saw how I reacted she smiled again.

"Tell that boy how you feel, about what you've been through and about your past" She told me. "I speak with his therapist and-"

"Does he talk about me" I asked excited. She gave me a stern look.

"Now Celeste you know I can't tell you that, but I will tell you that he has some secrets you would want to know about him. You just need to open up to him." She told me and I nodded. "He is your light" She whispered to me.

"But lights can always burn out" Is what I told her before the timer on our session went off.

"We'll speak more next week dear, just remember what I said speak to him, let him in your life" She reminded me and I smiled at her. She diagnosed me with BPD: Border Personality Disorder, Depression, Anxiety and Bipolar Disorder and she told me I have a tad bit of anger problems and that's why I yell so much. Jaxon's therapist Diagnosed him with Depression, Anger Issues, Bipolar Disorder and Jaxon told me himself that he has the tendency to hit someone when he gets really angry and that's why he leaves the room when him and I argue.

"Hey Princess, How did todays session go?" He asked me when he saw me walk out of the building. I smiled and ran to him and jumped in his arms. He calls me Princess everyday and he told me he's never going to stop but he did stop with the "mommy and daddy's little princess" thing.

"It went really good actually" I told him as I sighed. He smiled at me as I got in the car. He got in the drivers seat and started driving down the road. "Did anything interesting happen at work today?" I asked him and he shrugged.