Saving The Gangsta

t e n

"Lexi keeps talking about how fucked up Tyler was and all I can think is, how? How can he hurt his brother like that? How can he murder his brother?" Her voice breaks, yet the word monster repeats in my mind over and over again.

He's a monster.

Just like me.

"Tay, Lexi thinks someone told Tyler about how Asher was. His anxious and timid personality. She thinks someone betrayed them, someone in the gang."

"That can't be true." I assure her, "No one here would dare betray us, nor want to."

"Oh, Taylor." She smiles sadly at me, "You may be one of the smartest people I know, but you are so damned naive sometimes."

What?

"Boss?" Oli walks into her office, a stack of papers in his hand. He eyes me warily, "I have the information you asked for."

She takes them, scanning her eyes over the pages. "Thanks, Oliver. Tay, I'll speak to you later."

I take that as my dismissal, following Oli out of the room. But it appeared he couldn't wait to get away from me.

"Hey! Ol!" I grab his shoulder without any force, moving him around to face me. He wouldn't look at my eyes. "What were on them papers? And why are you refusing to look at me?"

I continue when he doesn't reply. "Oli, I've known you for a long time and we've never lied to each other. I promise I won't get mad at you if you tell me."

He gulps, biting his lip. After a few moments of hesitation, he speaks. "Rebecca wanted me to do a background check on Cleveland. So I did."

"And you obviously found out something that's bothering you. Tell me."

"The thing is, Taylor." He sighs, "Astrid Cleveland doesn't exist. Or at least she didn't, until 2 years ago."

"What do you mean she doesn't exist?" I push, my brows furrowing naturally. How can a person not exist?

"There's no Astrid Cleveland in the Government database. No birth certificate, nor death." He tells me, "I don't know who she is."

"Rebecca thinks Astrid's the traitor, doesn't she?" I question, despite internally knowing the answer.

"She knows Rogue." He explains, "Becca thinks they're in this war together."

"I don't believe that." I shake my head instantly. "I saw the hatred in her eyes, I saw the desire to kill."

"Did you ever ask her why she was there?" He inquires, "My Dad always used to tell me that by asking a villain what they bring to the table, they'll make you endless promises. So many that it'll make you forget that they never even answered the question. Be careful, Tay."

***

"Lexi?"

My reply was nothing more than a mere whimper. My chest clenched, and my eyes fluttered shut in pain.

Lying down on her bed, my arm skimmed her sides gently as I hold her towards me. I notice the array of bottles decorating her bedroom floor.

"Don't block it out, okay?" I shush her, running my fingers through her hair. "Don't drink yourself numb, or sleep until your mind goes blank. Let it rip you apart. And then get up, curl your hair, put on your stilettos and keep fucking breathing. One second at a time. One minute at a time. Wake up, and shatter. Cry for a bit. But then you need to stop crying and get on with your day, just like Ash would want you too. You're not okay, and honestly you never will be again. But. You. Are. Alive. And one day, you're going to find happiness again."

"You're making it sound easy."

"Fuck no." I tighten my arms around her, "It's far from it. It's going to be the hardest damn thing you'll ever fucking do. But it's the only option Lexi, you're killing yourself."

"I can't do this Tay. I....I feel like a part of me is missing. Like....Like my hearts just rotted into pathetic remains of love. He's my everything...And I lost him. I'm the reason he's dead." She hiccups, barely managing to get the words out.

This is all Tyler's fault.

"No, you're n-"

"All my family are dead." She sniffles, "Or monsters, how can I ever...." The sobs take over her body once again..

"We're your family as well, Lexi." I kiss her forehead, resting my head above hers. "I'm going to look after you, I promise."

"You know, I asked him why he hated me so much. And he turned around, looked me straight in the eye and told me I ruined his life. The start of my life marked the destruction of his. If he didn't hate me, he'd love me. And he owes Mom and Dad more than that. I didn't just kill my twin, Taylor. I killed my Mom and Dad as well."

"What happened to them....was never your fault. They made their choices. It's your turn to make yours."

Watching Sawyer's form stood at the door, I send him a small smile and untangled myself from Alexi.

"You're going to be okay, sis, I promise."