move on

six.

It all started,
When you grabbed my hand.
I was complaining,
Because the room was freezing,
And my hands,
Were going numb.
You responded,
let me help, 
And reached for me.
My hand seemed to fit,
Perfectly in yours,
And I was confused,
Because I didn't know how,
Since yours were so much,
Bigger,
Than mine.
Time passed,
And we grew closer.
Your hands moved,
From my hands,
To my thighs,
Resting there,
Comfortably,
Your thumb,
Rubbing circles.
I didn't know,
How much I loved that,
How much I craved the attention,
Of another,
Until you stopped.
I didn't know,
How much I would miss,
Everything,
Before it was gone.
Soon,
You came back,
I convinced myself,
That everything was the same,
But it wasn't.
I should have known better.
When you held my hand,
You seemed tense,
And it wasn't only my hands,
That were cold,
Yours were too.
The normal warmth,
That you almost radiated,
Seemed to be gone.
I should have known,
That when you had your hand,
On my thigh,
Things were not the same.
Just as before,
You had started to move your hand up,
I assumed,
That this time,
It was still a joke,
Thinking that as before,
You would stop after a few seconds.
But you didn't.
I reached down,
And grabbed your hand,
I looked at you,
As if to ask,
are you crazy,
And you quietly apologized,
Giving my hand a light squeeze,
Before letting go.
I should have known,
From then,
That things would only go,
Downhill,
But I ignored all of the signs,
I ignored everything.
I was too caught up in your eyes,
That seemed to be duller than normal,
but still made me melt.
Too concerned with you,
And the things you made me feel.
I was to distracted by my feelings,
To notice what was going on,
To realize that what we had was falling apart,
And starting to grow in toxicity.
It had all started,
When you grabbed my hand,
And it all began,
To slowly end,
When you let it go.
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Okay I'll admit this one's pretty shitty.