Forgetting You | V.N Y.K - Discontinued

chapter 7

   Three days had passed by since that night. Every hour that led up to a total of seventy two was awkward, and as though it may not have necessarily been for Viktor, it definitely was for Yuuri.

   He just couldn't stop thinking about it. When Viktor rushed in, why did he looked so genuinely worried? Did he honestly care that much about him?

   Yuuri figured he probably didn't.

   He was probably just doing that because it was the nice thing to do.

   Nobody ever cared about him aside from his mother, anyways.

   "Hey, Yuuri," Viktor yawns, walking into the kitchen and resting an arm on the wall. Yuuri looked back at him from his place at the table and put on a small, fake smile.

   "Hi."

   "When's the last time you ate?" Viktor asks, his voice drowsy and tired although laced with a shed of worrisome.

   "Doesn't matter," Yuuri responds, already getting fed up with the conversation. "Look, Viktor, didn't I already tell you to drop that subject?"

   Viktor sighed, his eyes falling closed as he put more of his weight on the wall.

   "Yes, but-"

   "I said to just drop the fucking subject!" Yuuri yells, although regret and guilt pooling in his stomach when he saw the expression his caused Viktor to make.

   It'd only been four days.

   And Viktor had already felt more and more tiny pieces of his heart falling off every day. He was losing the only thing keeping him alive right in front of his eyes, and he didn't want to watch, he wanted to either turn away and be weak or hug the boy and make it all stop.

   But Viktor wasn't going to do either of those.

   Yuuri stands up, walking a little closer to where Viktor was standing and latching his eyes shut, his head clutched into his hand.

   "Look, I'm sorry, Viktor, I just-"

   "It's okay." Viktor whispers. He didn't want to do this, he didn't want to show how badly these words were piercing his heart but it was too overwhelming and this feeling was overflowing too much that he simply just couldn't keep it in.

   "You don't look okay." Yuuri sighs, resting against the wall. "Look, I'm sorry, man."

   Viktor's eyes widen a little.

   Yuuri used to always say to Viktor that they should never call one another "bro" or "man".

   The reason? That made them too much of stereotypical friends.

   His exact words were,
"We shouldn't call each other that, because we're not your stereotypical friends, right?"

   A giggle had fallen from his lips when he said that, warming Viktor's heart and setting his face on fire.

   That was the moment when Viktor was sure he had fallen in love with the younger boy, especially when he ended off the conversation with,
   "Were closer than that!"
   And a small smile playing at his lips.

   Viktor never forgot that moment.

   But of course,
   Yuuri had.

   Yuuri'd forgotten everything.

   So Viktor couldn't help it when he realized his breathing was becoming irregular and his hands were starting to shake.

   He'd had panic attacks in the past, all the time.

   All because he missed Yuuri.

   And now,
   With Yuuri even just calling him that one word,
   Everything was coming back, in shades of black, white and red.

   "I-I have to go to the bathroom, please excuse me," Viktor laughed, biting his tongue and walking into the nearest restroom. Yuuri stared behind him, confused and bewildered.

   "Uh," Yuuri whispers, slowly walking a little closer to the door. "Hey, Viktor, are you o-okay?" He asks, then letting his fingertips linger over the wood of the bathroom door and his ear rest against it.

   He heard small, and very, very faint sobs, and something that sounded like little coughs.

   "Hey, Viktor, seriously, what-"

   "I-I'm okay, Y-Yuuri, why don't you j-just please eat something?" He says, his voice shaking awfully and his breathing irregular. He had his hands rested over his face, while at the same time trying to open up his airway even a little so that he could breathe. The world was spinning, he felt like the walls were caving in on him, and he could feel the large amount of tears rushing down his face.

   "Viktor.."

   "Y-Yuuri, please just e-eat." He chokes out, trying to make it sound as normal as possible but not succeeding.

   Yuuri saw right through it.

   He knew what was happening.

   Because it happened to him constantly, too. Just why was it happening to Viktor?

   Yuuri didn't bother thinking it over, trying to accept the fact that the man had his own reasons and that it wasn't his place to jump to conclusions.

   He tried wiggling the doorknob, but it was locked.

   So instead, he walked over to the counter, and got a paper clip.

   He put it in the lock, then gently twisting it and opening the door to a sight he wished he hadn't seen.

   A sight, that for some reason, ripped him to shreds and made him think that if it was possibly because of him, he deserved to endure his mother's death all over again.

   When he saw a sobbing, broken, shaking Viktor leaning over the toilet, his entire body

   just felt numb, yet shattered.

•••
I would like to say I am so sorry if I wrote this wrong
It was my first time ever writing a real panic attack scene and I had an idea because I've experienced them before, but I'm bad at expressing how I feel into words and mine were never as serious as Viktor's

yeah but sorry this is shit writing lol, I figured you guys deserved a chapter so ❤️❤️

I love you guys
(don't ya just love the angst 😁)
ghosties please show me some love 💕

Words: 966
Date published: 4/12/17
Chapter: 7