Caged in Darkness **ON HOLD**

Chapter 3 - Caged by Commitments

*Beep*

*Beep*

*Beep*

I fumbled with my alarm clock, hitting the snooze button. Mornings are the worst, I thought. I snuggled under the covers, absorbing the warmth. Just a few more minutes. Then I'll get up.

Five minutes later my alarm clock blared again. Groaning, I turned it off and left the comfort of my bed for the frigid air of the apartment. I crept out of bed, trying not to disturb Levi who had already fallen back asleep on the other twin bed stuffed in the corner. I cringed at the harsh coldness of the tile floor in the bathroom.

I quickly turned on the water for a shower. After it was warm, I hopped in and stood under the stream to warm up. The shower helped wake me up from my sleep-walking-zombie state. As I got out and dried off, my phone buzzed on the counter with a notification. 

Picking up my phone, I saw that I had two new text messages:

Cameron: Good morning, Beautiful. I'm looking forward to seeing you today. ;)

Theo: I hope your morning is going well. What time should we pick you up for lunch? 

I quickly replied to both, telling Theo when my class ended and to pick me up in front of the Harvey building. After getting ready for the day, I walked to the kitchen to make breakfast. As I was flipping pancakes, Levi walked in. He looked so much younger than usual, with his hair ruffled up from sleep and eyes half closed. His mouth picked up in the corners when he saw what I was making. 

"Aww chocolate chip pancakes? Sis, you're the best." he said before giving me a quick side hug. As he went to sit down at the table, he picked a chocolate chip out of the batter and popped it into his mouth. I smiled, shaking my head. He never could wait for something to be finished. He always wanted to jump right in and get to the good part, not waiting around for all the stuff in the middle. I wished I could be that enthusiastic about things. But, life had taught me to be cautious. 

While we ate, Levi told me about the song he was learning to play on the guitar. A few years ago he had started teaching himself how to play, he even got an old beat up guitar from a pawn shop so he could practice. I always loved listening to him play. Whenever I was having a breakdown, he would play for me, lifting my broken spirits and taping them back together again. 

I told him about my plans to meet with some friends for lunch and his face lit up. "That's great! I'm really glad you're putting yourself out there. Have fun, and don't worry about coming back to check on me before going to work. I'll be fine as usual." 

He jumped up and collected the dishes. We worked side by side to wash and dry them before putting them away. The whole time he was humming to himself, playing the song in his head. I couldn't help the smile from creeping onto my face at his cheerfulness. 

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I sat on the steps of the Harvey building, waiting for Theo and Cameron to pull up. As I settled down I looked around at the students nearby. Some rushed to class with their heads down, some talked animatedly to their friends as they walked, while some were sitting in a circle chatting while doing homework. I couldn't help but to compare myself to them. I was the person that went rushing by, going from one place to the next with my head down. 

As I watched those people, I realized that I never stopped to have fun or have a chat with friends. I never stopped to appreciate the beauty of the leaves shattering above my head or the light sparking off the lake. I never stopped to sit on the beautiful green grass or enjoy the sunshine on my skin. When I really thought about it, I hadn't done those things in years. The last time I could remember genuinely having fun and just living in the moment was before my mom died. 

Have I really just been going from place to place like an empty shell for the past 11 years? 

As this though dawned on me, a black Range Rover pulled up to the curb. Cameron hopped out of the front passenger side and held the door open for me. He said, "Hop on in" with a grin on his handsome face. 

I stepped up to the SUV and slid into the seat. After I buckled myself in, I folded my hands in my lap. The car looked brand new with gadgets and nice leather seats. Because I wasn't used to being around such luxury, and because I was getting into a car with almost complete strangers, I felt extremely uncomfortable. 

The longer I sat there, the more I started second guessing myself. Why did I do this? I could have just talked to Cameron in class and that would have been considered making friends, right? But then what I had been thinking about on the steps crept back into my head. I didn't just want to survive anymore. I wanted to have a life and have fun. I didn't want to let the past keep dominating over my life. When my life finally ended, I wanted to be able to look back at the little time I had with happiness. I wanted something to hold onto. 

After Cameron had slipped into the back seat and buckled in, Theo pulled the car away from the curb. He touched the fancy touch-screen dashboard a couple of times until some classical music started playing from the speakers. 

"Is this okay?" Theo asked. He looked toward me for a moment. I expected him to look back toward the road, but he kept staring. "You should really watch the road." I said. Not only did him watching me make me more nervous, but also the fact that a car could be driving straight towards him and he wouldn't have been able to see it. 

He kept looking for another second before doing as I said. "It's fine. I could see where I was going." 

"Liar," came from the back. Cameron poked his head to the front as he reached to fiddle with the radio. A rock song started playing and got louder as he kept pressing buttons. Eventually, he seemed satisfied with the volume as he sat back and started singing along to the lyrics. Theo shot him a glare but didn't move to touch the radio. I guessed from his reaction that this happened a lot. 

A couple minutes later we got to the pizza place we had talked about going to. As Cameron opened my door for me, he said, "By the way, we're meeting some of our friends here as well. Just two others." 

My eyes widened as the anxiety I had been feeling the whole way over increased even more. What had I gotten myself into? All I needed to do was make one friend, but then I had to go and get myself into this mess instead. Why did every situation I was in get out of my control? 

Hey Guys! I'm sorry for posting this so late at night. Things have been busy lately. I had hoped to introduce you to the other two guys in this chapter, but it just didn't work out like that. I might add a smaller part continuing this chapter with them before wednesday, but we'll see. Stay tuned for them for sure next week! 

As usual, please remember to comment and vote on this chapter!

-M.R. Nicole