Beautiful girl, horrid secret.

..Chapter one..

April 4, 2017

Dear diary,

It's the week before spring break. School is almost over and I'm excited but I'm scared. I'm scared for the things that are to come. I'm scared that things are going to change dramatically. See, I'm going into high school next year and I don't think I'm ready to meet a hundred or two hundred more people that are either going to push me away or act like my friend and then push me away. I mean I have friends now but I guess I'm just afraid I'm gonna lose them. I just hope I don't lose the good friends that I have now. I remember going from 5th to 6th grade and it was the scariest part of my life. Now I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to go through the same thing again going from 8th to 9th. I guess I can just hope that everything will be OK. It's funny that's always what I seem to say is that everything will be OK. Someone asks me if I'm OK I just say "yeah I'm fine" or "I'm just tired or "yeah I'm OK." Seems like all I ever say is that I'm OK which is the biggest lie I've ever told. I lie about it to my friends, my family, my teachers, to everyone around me I lie. The thing is I'm not OK and I've never really told anybody. Ive told three people. Those people are the people I trust the most. I've told my boyfriend Jake, my friend Casey, and my friend May. I've only known Jake for two years but is one of the people that I trust most. Casey I've known for three years. And May I've known since kindergarten, she's really my best friend. I'm not really afraid of losing them but my other friends is who I'm afraid to lose. The ones that I'm not that close to. Jake was my first kiss. He's the only one that I've really ever told everything other than May and Casey. I told May about my secret first then I told Casey and lastly I told Jake. All three of them have always been there for me when I needed them. They've never left my side. And thats special to me. I hope they never leave me because if they did I wouldn't know what to do.