Life's On Balance [Supernatural] {2}

22.1 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2

Dean, Bobby and I brought Sam's body back to an abandoned house. Dean and I had Sam lying on a bed in the room while Bobby went out for something.

I stood in the doorway, looking at Sam numbly for I don't know who long. I didn't want to see him like this. I knew he was dead but I just didn't want it to stay that way. I knew I couldn't live without Dean or Sam. And losing one of them now - It hurt me so much.

I felt Dean standing nearby, looking at Sam too. "Dean? Scar?" Dean turned to Bobby as he walked inside the house but I didn't turned to look at him. I kept staring at my dead big brother. "Brought you this back."

"No, thanks. I'm fine," Dean said. "You should eat something," Bobby said. "I said I'm fine," Dean said before walking to a table to stand by Bobby and then taking a drink of bottle of whiskey

"Guys . . ." Bobby started and I finally looked away from Sam to him. "I hate to bring this up, I really do. But don't you think maybe it's time . . . we bury Sam?"

"No," I spoke up and Dean sat down on a chair. "We could maybe . . ." Bobby started. "What? Torch his corpse?" Dean asked. "Not yet."

"I want you both to come with me," Bobby said. "I'm not going anywhere," Dean said. "Dean, please," Bobby said.

"Would you cut us some slack?" Dean asked. "I just don't think either of you should be alone, that's all," Bobby said. "I gotta admit, I could use your help." Dean scoffed but Bobby continued, "Something big is going down -- end-of-the world big."

"Well, then let it end!" Dean yelled. "You don't mean that," Bobby said. Dean got up and stand in front of his face, "You don't think so? Huh? You don't think I've given enough? You don't think I've paid enough?" He glanced at me before back at Bobby. "You don't think we both have? I'm done with it. All of it. And if you know what's good for you, you'd turn around, and get the hell out of here."

Bobby didn't moved and just stared at him. "Go!" Dean yelled, pushing him. "Dean," I warned quietly. Dean glanced at me, realizing what he had just did and looked back at Bobby, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please, just go."

Bobby turned around, "You know where I'll be," He said before walking out. I turned back to Sam and stared at him again, letting a tear fall.

...................

It's been hours since Bobby left and it was already night time. I walked downstairs and to where Sam was in but stopped when I saw Dean sitting there on the chair, talking to Sam's body, "Do you remember when Scar was little -- she couldn't been more the four. She started asking us both all these questions. You were like her when you were five. You both asked the same things; 'How come we didn't have a Mom?' 'Why do we always have to move around?' 'Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time?' . . . I remember you and I begged her, 'Quit asking, Scar. You don't want to know.' We wanted her to be a kid . . . Just for a little while longer."

I put my hand to my mouth, crying softly but I didn't want him to know I was there. He continued, "We both always tried to protect her . . . Keep her safe. And I was always trying to do the same for you . . . For both of you . . . Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job . . . I had one job . . . And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry." Dean cried silently and he wiped his tears away. "I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. I let Scar down. And now, I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? How can Scar and I live without you? What am I supposed to do, Sammy?" He hesitated for a moment, standing up, "What am I supposed to do?" He kicked the bed, yelling, "What am I supposed to do?"