You're the Reason

Chapter 5

"Throw the ladders in the back and I'll get the rest." Johnny said.

I hefted a ladder on to my shoulder, easing my way out of the townhouse we had just finished repainting. It had just switched owners and the new owner thought the beige walls were too boring. We had been painting the place for the last two weeks. It went from being all the same beige to a mix of beige and natural greens.  The new owners had really brightened up the place, at least they thought so. I on the other hand was sick of looking at shades brown and green.

I slide the last ladder into the bed of Johnny's truck, wiping the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. I climbed in the passenger seat of the truck, grabbing my cigarettes out of my pocket. I cranked down the window and lit a smoke. There was nothing more satisfying then a smoke after a long day of inhaling paint fumes.

"Got plans for dinner?" Johnny asked as he got in on the driver's side, a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth.

"Nah. Probably just order some takeout again." I said, releasing smoke from my lungs.

Johnny shook his head at me. I had ordered takeout for dinner everyday the past week since Payton left on tour.

"Alright that's it, you're eating dinner with me at my parents." He pulled the truck out into traffic, settling back into the seat.

I didn't argue. Johnny's mom, Alma, made the best food. I flicked my finger over the end of my smoked cigarette to make sure it was out. I dropped it in the empty coffee cup Johnny had in the cup holder from the morning ride in.

"So how are things? Ya know since Payton's been gone." Johnny asked. "You've been unusually quiet kid."

I shrugged, "It's fine I guess. A little weird not having her around."

It sucked. It was horrible. Payton was my ray of light. I was literally living for the moments when she called. Everything in between was just filler. Stuff I had to do in order to talk to Payton again.

"I bet." Johnny agreed. "You talk to Ellie and Ron? They're back from their honeymoon aren't they?"

"Yeah they got in last night. I was thinking I'd call Ellie tonight." I answered.

Ellie being gone on her honeymoon had been almost as bad as Payton going on tour. It was like everyone had abandoned me at once. Thank god for Johnny and school.

"Talk to your parents lately?"

Johnny liked to poke around at issues I didn't like talking about. He was like my unpaid therapist. I shook my head 'no'. I was still unsure of where I stood with them. My dads newfound liking for me had me baffled. I knew Ron had called him out a little before the wedding but I knew my dad. He didn't let people tell him what to do. There had to get something else, something bigger, that had changed his mind.

"You should ya know." Johnny added.

I played with my pack of smokes, my hands itching to stay busy.

"Why? So they can start hating me again when I do something they don't like." I said, my voice calm and steady.

I was convinced I'd wake up and it would be like it use to be. My dad and Beau reminding me of all my shortcomings, all of my mistakes, how unworthy I was. 

"Do you know why my dad suddenly likes me? Or at least pretends he does?" I stared at the beige paint that was splattered on my jeans. It was such a dull color.

I felt Johnny stare at me as we sat at a red light. I didn't meet his gaze though. I kept my eyes fixated on the paint spots that covered my clothes.  The light turned green and Johnny fixed his eyes back on the road.

"You should probably ask Ron that question." He finally said.

I looked up at Johnny, his dark brown hair spilling out from underneath the ball cap he wore.

"Why can't you just tell me?"

He glanced at me, his face serious. Johnny was like a vault. If someone told him not to say something, there wasn't anything anyone could do to get it out of him.

"Ron can tell you better."

And that was the end of it. I turned my focus to the busy street as we slowly made our way through.

"What's your mom making tonight?" I asked.

"No idea." Johnny said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Last time I talked to her she was bitching about making a cake and Dad kept drinking all the booze for it."

I chuckled, not that I ever saw Shannon and Alma drink but I figured they could both put it away. I could just imagine Alma and her short little frame in Shannon's face as he relaxed in his old leather recliner watching some gangster movie completely unfazed. Alma was a spitfire even at the age of 61. One could only imagine what she would have been like when she was younger.

"Let's hope for all our sakes she got the cake made." I said.

Johnny laughed, "No joke."

I smiled, relaxing a little more as we drove along. For the first time in a week the time was passing easily by.