My American Bad Boy.

Dedicate This Song To You

Joshua woke up early the next morning. He got out of his bed and headed for the kitchen for a glass of water. He brought his glass out to the living room and grabbed his guitar along the way.

Setting his drink on the coffee table, he sat down on the couch and check the tunings of the instrument. He practiced his songs a couple of times, trying his best to drown Vernon out of his thought by filling his mind with the music. He let out a deep sigh at the final, brittle strum of the acoustic guitar.

He kept his guitar in his case and went to take a shower. By the time Joshua was all ready and dressed, the rest of the boys were only slowly starting to get out of bed. One by one they gave their best wishes. When it came to Vernon, the room fell silent and the rest of the eleven boys had their eyes glued to the pair. Almost everyone there know about Joshua’s feelings for Vernon.

“All the best mate! Have fun strumming that guitar. Don't be nervous. Just break a leg.” Vernon gave Joshua an encouraging smile.

Joshua laughed at the use of the common English saying of well wishes. The rest of the boys stood there puzzled, not catching a word of English that left Vernon’s lips.

Joshua waved to the rest of the boys before heading out first. He was an hour early for school, but he needed that extra time to clear his mind. He calmly strolled his way to school, his earpiece filling music softly in his ears.

It was it was 12:20pm.

There was ten more minutes till his showcase. Every student in Pledis University would require to put up a showcase in any year they choose. Prioritising his academic modules first, he had pushed his showcase to his final year. It was a common school event for the students.

Usually some of the first years, for the Music courses, would have to sit through the showcase and the rest of the audience is up to the performer's invitation. There would be three grading professors sitting amongst the crowd judging their performances.

Joshua was of course nervous for his performance but Vernon’s words before he had left the house this morning kept replying in his head.

“Break a leg.”

It was so out of character for Vernon to use such a corny theatrical line. But Joshua finds it adorable and flattering. Once again he caught himself thinking about the boy, this time just minutes away from his performance.

“Okay Joshua, we're ready for you. You can go and take your seat behind the curtains now.” The stage manager directed him along.

Joshua took a deep breath.

“You can do this. Like Soonyoung said, dedicate this one to Vernon.” As the curtains were pulled apart, the bright lights shone straight at him.

He looked down at his fingers and began strumming his guitar.

His sweet voice filled the auditorium. There were a decent number of students sitting around. He recognised some of them, his classmates from his first year of University, his fellow council friends were there too, some of the first year students he had seen before and Vernon.

“Vernon?” He thought.

Joshua brushed it off, not letting it affect his song. It must have been his mind playing tricks on him. That boy doesn't even go to this school; the boy doesn't even go to school. So, it can't be him. As his eyes sweeps the crowd once more, and there ‘Vernon’ was.

As the song ended, Joshua turned to look at him. Vernon gave him his signature smirk and two thumbs up in encouragement.

Vernon was sitting up in the front row. He had came alone to a school he's never been to, just to see him. To be there for him. He could feel his heart beating fast.

As he started playing his next song, his heart followed Soonyoung’s advice.

“Dedicate your performance to him.”

Although he'd occasionally turn his attention to the audience and the judges, most of his attention was wrapped around Vernon.

Joshua sang to him.

He sang for him.

Vernon noticed that Joshua’s eyes didn't left him. His gentle voice, soft and soothing. He really wanted to turn away, and hide his face. He was shy from all this direct attention he was receiving from the older boy. He had spent months putting up this facade of charisma and was only able to do it because all the interactions he had with Joshua lasted a minute or less.

If it was any longer than that, the boy would've been a flustered, stuttering mess.

Vernon fought the urge to shy away from the attention. He continued to gaze at Joshua. Letting Joshua’s sweet voice fill him up with warmth. He could feel the raw emotions in his singing.

As though Joshua was singing to him.

Just for him.

He listened closely to the lyrics when Joshua’s tempo slowed down. His voice dropped an octave deeper.

“But now, who knew?
That he's in the crowd of my show
Nothing to lose,
he's standing right in the front row
The perfect view,
he came along on his own,
And there's something that you should know

You're so out of reach, and I'm finding it hard
'Cause you make me feel,
you make me feel,
Yeah you make me feel,
you make me feel

It's obvious

You're so out of reach,
and I'm finding it hard
'Cause you make me feel,
make me feel,
Like I try, like I try,
like I'm trying too hard,
'Cause I'm not being me,
and it's getting me down
That you make me think,
make me think,
That I try, that I try,
that I'm trying too hard again”

As he ended his final song. Vernon clapped his hands enthusiastically, too eager as compared to those around him. Joshua giggled softly to himself, giving Vernon a last smile before he stood up and went backstage. He waited anxiously for the three judges to give him their final verdict on his performance.

He had been so caught up in singing for Vernon that he had sort of forgotten that he was being graded.

The stage manager got to him and ushered him to the three professors.

“Well, Joshua Hong. That was indeed an amazing performance. The three of us had all agreed that your singing was strong and was filled with many raw emotions, as though you were really singing to a lover at the front row. Well done!” Joshua bowed his head out of gratitude.

They gave him further evaluation on the technical aspects of his singing. After he shook the last of the three judges’ hand, the professors left him to pack up.

Joshua’s head was buzzing with the great response he had gotten from the judges and about a certain american boy sitting in the crowd. As Joshua kept his guitar in its case, he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. Thinking it was one of the crew who wanted to rush him out so that they'd be able to clear up for the day. He simply waved his hand in the air and asked for five more minutes.

“But your number one fan can't wait that long!” a familiar voice broke his train of thoughts.

He turned and stood up to face a large bouquet of flowers that hid his admirer’s face. Joshua gently took the bouquet from him. Vernon smiled bashfully at Joshua.

“I-it was a great show you put up there. You voice sounded so amazing. I felt like melting, hearing you voice that was as sweet as honey. I love the song you sang. It was an amazing performance. It almost felt as though you were singing right at me...” Vernon’s words came out like a bullet train.

Joshua giggled to himself.

He placed a hand on Vernon’s cheek and gently caressed it with his thumb. He smiled lovingly at the bashful boy.

“I was singing for you. Since day one, you've somehow made me feel so strongly for you. For months I've tried so hard to get your attention. I really like you Vernon.” Joshua had no idea where that flush of confidence came from.

He guessed that maybe it was seeing how flustered the other boy was getting over him, it kind of gave him that boost of confidence he needed to speak his heart.