Merthur - The Blue Butterfly

Chapter 9 - Trust in Yourself

"Too much for the great Arthur?" Merlin asks with a mocking tone, "What sort of task could get such an arrogant prat to admit he can't do it."

Arthur cracks a small smile. "Oh, shut up and listen would you? I haven't finished."

"Sorry, sorry," Merlin says with a grin, "go on."

The prince takes another deep breath. This next part is going to be a sensitive topic. "My orders are to destroy a... a druid camp in the Forest of Ascetir. And- and I don't know what to do."

Merlin's smile drops, his shoulders tensing slightly as he thinks back to what happened to his own mother and father. Innocent lives. Gone. All gone in a few short moments because of a single man's hatred. He doesn't want something like that to happen again. Never. "You can't do it," he says, voice a little desperate, "you can't go. You can't let anyone go!"

Arthur hides his face, not wanting to face the warlock. "But my father-"

"Arthur, you can't do this! I know he's your father, but..." he stops for a moment, trying to choose his words carefully, "but you have to learn when to do things for yourself. To do the things that you think is right. I know you and I know you would never do this. Not willingly. I-I don't want to see something like that happen ever again. And I especially don't want to know that it's happening because of you."

The prince is silent for a moment, hearing the hurt in the warlock's words as he ponders the questions in his mind. He understands what Merlin is saying. Of course he does. But can he really defy his father? Does he really have that courage? "What if... what would you do if I did follow my father's orders?"

Merlin is quiet for a long time. There isn't a sound. Nothing but the sound of his own heart beating in his chest as he waits for Merlin's answer. But as the silence stretches on he realizes he doesn't need an answer. He already knows what it is. He wouldn't be forgiven. Even if their relationship remained there would always be that hint of distrust hanging over them and that was something he never wanted to happen.

Still, despite the consequences could he really do it? Going against his father is something he never even dreamed of doing before. Yet, he knows what his father's doing is wrong. It's just all wrong. "Do you think I can do it? My father... what if he-" he doesn't finish his sentence. Instead he falls back into silence.

"You need to make your own choices. You can't keep listening to your father forever. He isn't always right."

"You don't get it Merlin I don't want to disappoint him! This is my first assignment as a knight! This is the first one I'll ever lead if I fail now he'll never trust me again!"

The warlock goes silent. Unable to say anything more.

Arthur sighs, rubbing at his temples in frustration. He gets to his feet, turning around and heading towards the hall without another word, but just before he shuts the door he hears Merlin say quietly, "I trust you, Arthur. Morgana trusts you. Gwen trusts you. And I hope that one day you can trust yourself too because you have the heart of a great king. I hope you won't betray it."

Arthur's grip tightens on the handle before he finally shuts the door behind him.

-----

After a long day of pondering the prince rides out in the lead the next morning with his men behind him as they make their way past the gates of the castle. He risks a quick look back, catching a glimpse of his father and Morgana standing by the steps. His father stares at him proudly, a wide smile on his face as he watches his son head off on his first assignment. Morgana too has a smile on her face, though its slightly strained as the worry seeps through the mask. Arthur sends them both a wave before heading through the town and into the forest, readying himself for the task ahead.