4 - Escape Plan

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"Anong ginawa ko?!"

Nanlaki yung mata ko habang nag iisip kung anong posibleng ginawa ko na ikinalungkot niya.

Sinuntok ko siya? But he's literally laughing a while ago.

Tiningnan niya ako sa mata. Napalunok ako. May nagbago sa mata niya.

Desperation? For what?

Napahakbang ako paurong habang sinagot ko ng titig yung titig niya. I don't feel safe. What if he attacked me again? And what if this time, he'll do worse?

Hahakbang sana siya papalapit sakin pero tumigil siya nung napansin niyang mabilisan din akong humakbang papalayo sa kanya.

Tinitigan niya ng maigi yung kinatatayuan ko habang kagat kagat niya yung labi niya at nakakunot naman yung mga kilay niya. Kung babae 'to, iisipin kong paiyak na siya.

As if! Boys don't cry. Kaya nga grabe ang pangungutya nila sa mga babae kesyo dramatic, overly sensitive, petty.

Pfft.

Effin' sexists.

Real men cry over something that's important to them, Ami. Remember that.

Napapikit ako ng mata. Napabuntong hininga. Napakamot ng ulo at napatingin sa malawak na kalangitan.

May mga bagay talagang di nabubura ng panahon.

Gaya ng boses niya. At mga weird phrases niya. At siya.

"Seya."

Napalingon ako sa harap ko kung saan nanggaling yung boses.

"I'm Seya."

Ulit niya nung di ako umimik.

"God!"

Bahagyang tumaas yung boses niya. Dali akong lumingon sa paligid, medyo crowded yung lugar.

Oh my! Oh my! Kung sakaling sugurin niya ako madaling sumigaw ng tulong but fir...

"Sorry."

I'm doing a mental check for my current status.

Mabilis na paghinga. Check.

Naninikip na dibdib. Check.

Blurry vision. No. Not yet. But, oh my, those are definitely not stars.

Gosh. I'm hype...

"Ami!!!"

Di ko na alam kung lumilindol ba or what basta alam ko hindi steady ang mundo. At ang ingay. Somewhere distant. And it's echoing. Sort of.

May narinig pa akong mahinang, "damn shitty panic attacks."

Whoever that is, di siya nagkakamali.

This is one hell of a shitty panic attack before everything went black.




"I'm not sure."

Familiar voice.

"Is she under stress prior the event?"

Silence.

"Yael?"

"Uhm... maybe?"

Kilala ko 'tong boses na 'to. Pati 'yung amoy.

"Anthony, this is a serious matter so it will be very helpful if you would be a bit more honest with me."

"I know. It's just that..."

Huminga ako ng malalim just to be sure na tama ang hinala ko. How I wish I didn't do that.

Dali kong binuksan yung mga mata ko.

White ceilings. White curtains. White walls.

"Oh no... Oh no..."

Kinapa ko yung magkabilang braso ko. Pati yung sintido at paa ko just to be sure.

No needles. Good.

But that doesn't mean it's fine now. I have to get out of here. Fast.

Dali akong umupo.

There are only a few times that I guessed wrong.

How I badly wished this is one of them.

Damn!

Hinawakan ko yung ilong ko para di ko maamoy yung halo halong mga amoy ng gamot na nasa paligid. Antiseptic shits and whatever. One of the reasons why I hate hospitals.

"Bat ngayon pa?" bulong ko sa sarili ko. "I don't need this inconvenience at the moment. Please let me off the hook."

To be clear, wala akong phobia sa ospital. May phobia ako sa bayaran. Every celestial beings na nag-eexist sa mundo alam ang financial status ko. I simply can't afford this. Gosh, I hardy afford anything to be exact.

Pinakinggan ko ulit yung usapan sa labas habang iniinda yung sakit ng ulo ko.

I'm a master of ignoring pain. Peanut na lang 'to sakin.

"Hindi ko naman alam na nakalimutan niya ako."

Napakunot ako ng noo. Familiar voice.

"But it's still very disrespectful. It can be considered harassment. Fine. Tell me exactly what happened. And we need to contact her family. Di natin alam kung anong naka-trigger ng panic attack niya. Or kung kailangan niya ng special medication."

Special medication.

"No no no no no..."

Whatever that special medication na yan. That surely sounds pricey.

I have to get out of here. Like at this very moment.

Dali kong tinanggal yung kumot at hinanap yung sapatos ko. Nakita ko yung sneakers ko sa may ilalim ng kama.

Good thing about sneakers, they're perfect for running.

Well, the bad thing? Laces.

Na-calculate ko na yung seconds na kakailanganin ko para makatalon papunta sa sapatos, masuot at matali yun. The escape route and the energy needed to get away from this freakin' money vacuum shit.

Luck was really on my side dahil pagka-shoot na pagka-shoot pa lang ng paa ko sa isang sapatos, bumukas yung kurtina.

Fuck you, luck.

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 02, 2017 ⏰

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