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(y/n) pov  ~play the heart beat through the first part of the story~

i was just on my phone for the day, not caring whats going on right now. i wanted to just clear my mind, so i just started to write down on a notepad.

i just feel like everything is different after i started to cut. i really wish i could take back the first time i cut, i really do. because it started this chain reaction of depression. this feeling isnt something i can take for very long till i break, trust me i know my limit, i almost broke after my sister killed herself. but it still wasnt as bad as what i fell now. i feel pain, emotionally and physically. i cant trust my friends to stay at my side when i push them away so many times. this isnt a feeling i can push away. i need to fix myself before volleyball starts again. what should i do? 

i stop writing when i hear the door open. it was Blake. he walked over to my bed that i was laying on. it seemed that something wrong with the arua he's giving off.

"i have to move to america for the rest of my collage years which mean you would either have to live on your own or move in with another person. im so sorry for this on such short notice. i'll help you as much as i can but you will have to get a job and all that. i leave in a month." he tells me.

"why? what happened? i cant live with out you." i put my head in my knees. he was the last of my family that i knew. i mean dad left after i was born, mom became an alcoholic and we had to move out with our uncle and aunt but they moved, we move into this apartment and then loss our sister. we only had each other ..... and now he has to move.

"i know, i hate it too. my collage want me to go to their top school in america. they paid for everything. it'll be okay, i'll visit as much as i can, okay" he comforted. he was hugging me at this point. he had teary eyes too. we stayed like that for a little till he let go.

"i'll find a job soon." i say softly. he nods and go to the door. he turns to see me.

"you know im making (fav. meal) tonight" he cooed. my head shot up. i smiled at him and he smiled back, then left.

i still dont know what i'll do with out him. he brings me up when im down, he takes care of me when no one else would, he's done everything for me and i never returned a favor. i have to stay strong for him. 

i got up and walked to the kitchen to help him cook.

"what you doing, sis" he said, grabbing the ingredients.

"i need to learn how to cook, so may as well learn now." i give a cheeky smile. it was a good time, us just cook, laughing, having fun like what we use to do. 

we ate everything we cooked and cleaned up. i took a shower and said goodnight to my brother. i checked my phone to see a snapchat form Kuroo

(y/n): you really are trying to kill the team aka Lev aren't you

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(y/n): you really are trying to kill the team aka Lev aren't you

Kuroo: what can i say, he deserves it

(y/n): he is literally is in a pool of his own sweat and your just standing there.

Kuroo: well we just finished practice. also i need help studying ;)

(y/n): is all that i am to you, a freacking study guide or some shit

Kuroo: well you are one of the smartest kid in the class, so, help me

(y/n): fine, fine, fine but you have to cook me dinner that night.

Kuroo: fine by me, talk to you later

(y/n): night.

you turned off your phone and started to think of him. he almost perfect. you think as you doze off in to sleep

Blade~{Kuroo x reader}Where stories live. Discover now