13 Tapes - Cricky

A Trophy Father's Trophy Son

I walked my way down that same old path everyday on my way home from school. Looking back now I know it wasn't my fault but that day and in the years to come I blamed everything that happened on that day on myself.

I turned around a corner and there in between the trees was the road and houses. The air was scented with fresh cut grass.

I stepped out of the canopy of dark damp woods and onto the burning cement.

I walked to my house and up the steps to the door. While turning the knob I could feel it being turned from the inside. It opened and almost hit me. Then walked out my dad. He stopped and looked at me, the look on his face was nothing but panic. As in my arrival not being apart of the plan. He held a suit case and at my age I didn't understand what it meant but soon I would come to realize, he was leaving.

He held the case in one hand and the door knob in the other. He was breathing fast and at that moment I swear you could hear a pin drop.

"Excuse me.", he said breaking the silence and then he quickly darted past me towards the car. Little did I know that was the last thing I would ever hear of or see of my father, because about two years after he had left the cops informed me, he killed himself. He had become homeless and was dying of pneumonia. He decided jumping off the hospital would end all his suffering. Personally I believe he did it because he realized what he had done and what he had caused.

"DANNY!!",my mom sobbed from her place on the floor. She cried everyday after that sad day. But it soon came to an end when I found her cold and stiff on the floor of our bathroom. She had overdosed. Her depression had taken over. I guess in her mind i wasn't a good enough reason to stay.

Not even the second chapter of my life and I was now screwed up forever. I forgot who I was and eventually turned to what I knew best, my own depression. I shut everyone out and gave up on life. I was nothing left but pain. People told me the basics, you need to be better than them and stop dwelling in the past, but no matter how hard I tried that wasn't going to happen.