Night and Day

Chapter 7: Nathan

I stared at the letter, unable to comprehend it. In legible printing, I knew what it said, yet still I denied the words. It had to be a mistake; it was a misunderstanding. It was a rash decision easily rectified and, if not, it was a choice that could be overcome nonetheless. I blinked; it was a terrible dream. It was high school again, but I would wake up. I always woke up eventually. Snake would wake me.

I read the letter again and shook my head. I should have been angry. I should have crumpled it up and tossed it into my trashcan, but I did not. I felt too cold; I felt numb. If this was a dream, why should I feel anything?

Nathan.

I regret to tell you this, but it must be done. You're a great worker and a fun guy to be around. You're sense of humour is on point, and we've shared some great times, but it's not working out. I hate to do this to you. I see you as a friend. However, I also have my duty as you had yours. I am relieving you of your position at the Green Hall. Your attendance has been infrequent and other employees have had to take your place, and your tasks, when you were not there. Overtime has gotten a little too expensive. I won't blame you if you never want to talk to me again, but know that my wishes go with you all the same. I wish you luck in finding a new position and I apologize again for having to do this.

Dave.

Informal, blunt and to the point, the letter was sound all the same. I could not hate Dave, exactly, but neither could I envision myself dropping by the Green Hall for a hearty chat and a beer. I had lost my job, and a damn good one at that. That was that; whining would change nothing. I realized then that I could not argue with him-if I did, he would only feel worse, and he had probably already argued on my behalf with others and himself. I would not expect anything less from a professional.

Still, my pride was wounded. The taste of loss was becoming tangible. I moved to the window and looked out. A soft snow was beginning to fall and a let it dust over my hand as I held it out. I already felt a chill, and this weather made little difference now. Snake was twining herself around my leg. I sighed; I needed income if I was going to care for the feisty monster.

Scooping Snake up, I went over to the couch, leaving the window open. Green smells kept my mind clear while I let the knowledge seep in. Habitually, I checked the clock. My shift-or someone else's-would be starting in half an hour. I wondered if the new guy lived nearby. I wondered if I cared.

What would be worse than the loss of my job would be my mom's reaction to it. She would hit the roof when she found out and, regardless of whether she was angry with me or Dave, it would be a terrifying thing. She would be livid; that much was clear. I would be the founder of another failure and I would be able to bury another dream in my little graveyard of disasters. Delilah would accomplish something, and I would sink further into the abyss. I grinned, a hard and bitter thing. Snake expressed indifference. She was unaware of how our lives were going to change.

Unable to put it off, I called my mom. Last to know would be Delilah; she would never betray anything but sympathy, but I would see the smug light in her eyes. In her own way, she would blame me in the end. Sometimes she could be a hypocrite. Her attendance record at school was not exactly a thing to be admired.

I waited while the phone rang. It was a sickening irony to pay my bills off, only to have the money disappear. I bit my lip.

"Hello?" Mom sounded surprised, and concerned. I never phoned unless I needed something and I needed something now.

"Hey," I muttered, trying to keep the worry from my tone. I adopted Delilah's favourite conversation starter. "How's it going?"

"Fine. I'm tired, but I'm good." I could picture my mom now, collapsed back into her favourite chair, wineglass in hand. She had her rituals.

"Great. Great," I said. "I've got some bad news, though."

There was a pronounced pause. "What's wrong?"

"I lost my job." I wasted no time. I just pulled the trigger and hoped for the best. The shot still echoed in my ears and she was already bleeding.

"Why? What did you do?"

"My attendance hasn't been adequate." It was my fault, mom.

"Can you...get it back? Why were you missing so much work? Is there something going on that I should know about!?"

"No!" I took a breath. "It's just a bad turn of events." I failed school. My sister's better than me. I'm good at cooking and nothing else; I can't keep a job. No, nothing is going on!

"Do you have another place to go?"

"Not really." I shifted my feet, uncomfortable.

"Do you have money right now?"

I glanced toward my small round table, where my tips were stacked in glittering masses. "Yeah. Sort of."

"Should I send you some money?" I could hear the mother in her now, reaching out to me.

"I guess so." My pride was shattered. What was another hit?

"How much do you need?"

"Well, I've just paid all my bills. Three hundred dollars?"

"Okay. I'll come over and bring the cash to you tomorrow."

"Okay, mom." I felt like a child again. I could picture my mom by my side while we visited the principal's office together. He had had something to say about my attendance too.

"Okay, sweetheart. Do you have food?"

"Yeah." I still had four slices of pepperoni pizza.

"I'll talk to you later, then. Love you," she murmured.

"Love you," I returned. I hung up.