Stall Me [Ryden] [BOOK TWO]

twelve

"Hey Ryan. It's Brendon. I know the last thing you probably want is to see my face, but I was wrong. You won't answer your phone, so I've decided to leave you this message. I'm not expecting an answer, but I've never been keen on the idea of therapy, and Dallon is currently mad at me. Hear me out, will you?

"I'm stuck in an unhealthy relationship. You knew this, of course, but I don't know how to escape it. She beat me again. Nobody really pays attention to the relationships in which females hit the males, but it happens. I've suffered through it time and time again, but I don't know how to leave. Usually I'd be at the bar right now, drowning my sorrows in alcohol, but I'm trying this new thing called not being a pussy.

"Now you know me Ryan, or at least know me enough to know I'm a hardass. Stubborn as fuck, maybe one of thee most stubborn people you'll meet. I didn't take Dallon calling me a pussy easily. I denied it, as usual, but he was right. Like every other fucking time, Dallon James Weekes was right, and I was wrong. I am a pussy. I've been slipping in and out of my feelings, stuck on a ledge between loving you or Sarah. 

"I've made my decision. I don't love Sarah, but I can't escape her. Her eyes are pretty, her body feels great beneath my hands, and her voice leaves me breathless, but you're the one I want Ryan. You probably don't believe me, because of what happened in high school, and because of what happened last night, but I do.

"Her eyes may be pretty, but yours are enticing. I find myself lost in your honey eyes. Her body feels great, but I'd rather have yours beneath my fingertips. I know you're sensitive, Ry, you've always been sensitive, and I clearly took that for granted.

"I wouldn't blame you if you hated me, and I'm not searching for pity. If anything, this call is for help. Help me. I can't escape Sarah, no matter how hard I try. It's not that I don't want to, I do, I really do, but it's hard. She's been my safe place for the longest time, I'm afraid if I lose her, I'll lose everything. Dallon told me you needed me Ryan, and though it's hard to believe, I don't deny it. Maybe you do need me.

"Maybe you don't, maybe you just need time, but I need you Ryan. I need your help. You don't have to love me, you can hate me with all your guts, and glare at me every time our eyes meet; if they meet at all, but I need your help. You've always been a better person than I, Ryan, you've always been more mature, more sophisticated, with more loyalty. Look where I got in life. Sure, I started a band, but it's crashing. My dream job is crashing, my wife hates me, my own own best friends hate me, and I've been backstabbed. I don't know what to do..it's all so hard.

"I'm sorry for everything I've done, I sincerely am. I'm not sure what had gone through my mind during what happened, but I'm willing to change. As long as you guide me, like hands guiding play doh into a beautiful structure, I'll be that beautiful structure I'm sure you've made me out to be in your dreams, or in reality, even. I need your help escaping my own mistakes. Trust me, if I could, I'd trade all my mistakes for coins, and cash these coins for better luck, and be a better person.

"It's up to you.

"I need you, Ryan Ross, now more than ever." 

END OF BOOK TWO