jeffmads oneshots

i have nowhere else to go

im really tired sO I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY TYPOS I AM SORRY IM TOO LAZY TO READ OVER IT IM DETERMINED TO REMAIN ACTIVE BUT I DONT WANT TO FREEAKING READ OVER IT FIVE HUNDRED TIMES
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"James," Thomas panted, standing on the doorstep of James's apartment. It was five in the morning, lightly raining outside. "She kicked me out. Can I- Can I come in? Please, I- I have nowhere else to go-"

"You don't even have to ask, Tom," James said, opening the door wider. "Come in.. I'll make some coffee?" Thomas nodded, walking in as he took his jacket off.

"So... you finally told her?" James said as they sat across from each other. Thomas sighed.

"Yeah. I told her.." he looked down at his hands under the table. Some part of him felt guilty, yet he had no idea why. It wasn't his fault; it was who he was. He wasn't going to change it or ignore it.

"And it didn't go well..?" James said. Thomas answered,
"It didn't go well."

"Tommy, I'm here for you," James said, staring into Thomas's eyes, though they still looked down. "You know I am."

"James, I-" Thomas's breath caught in his throat before he could finish. "I'm sorry... I have to go-"

"Thomas, you- you can't just leave..." But Thomas  ignored him as he stood up, putting his jacket back on. He stopped for a moment, biting his lip and looking at the ceiling. James stared at him, so close to finally discussing with Thomas the unavoidable dilemma of his and Molly's relationship ending. "You should talk about this, I think..."

But Thomas had nothing to say.
His girlfriend of a year and half had just called him disgusting and a disgrace, kicking him out of their apartment and out of her life.
Thomas loved her, but didn't love her. She was an amazing woman; kind, funny, caring, smart... But Thomas's heart was never full in their relationship. Nor with any woman's.
Thomas liked boys.
That was all there was to it.
But, to be specific, there was one particular boy.
James.
His best friend.
And he liked him back.
One night, the two confessed their love for each other, but Thomas knew he couldn't do anything with James while he had been in his relationship with Molly. That's what made him realize he had to come clean. No way around it.
It had taken him four months, but finally, he did it.
And this was how he was repaid.
Him and Molly talked for hours about how their lives would change from then on. When he had brought up James, that's what made her lose it and throw him out immediately.
Thinking back on it, all Thomas really wanted was to just be alone.

"James, I'm sorry, I- I have to go..."

"I know this is hard for you," James stood up after Thomas, following him back to the door. James still held his coffee cup in his hand. "But, please, talk to me?"

"James, I- I can't, I'm not ready.." Thomas mumbled, pushing past him. But James just stepped right back.

"Thomas I need you to stay. Stay here, stay with me. Don't tell me this was all for nothing."

"What was all for nothing?" Thomas asked, looking slightly offended. His brow furrowed, hints of anger slowly started to slip onto his face. "What?"

"Me sticking with you these past four or five months. Me helping you understand how you felt. Me supporting you through everything–"

"Are you trying to say that you've only been supportive of me because you wanted to date me?"

"Tom, that's not what I meant–"

"It sure sounded like it." Thomas shook his head. "I just need time to clear my mind and think about everyone and- and everything." James grabbed Thomas's arm with his free hand, gazing into his eyes, praying Thomas would stay.
But he just pushed James's arm away harshly, causing James to lose grip of his mug with his other hand. It shattered on the floor, coffee spilling at their feet and soaking into the carpet.