Unrequited

Chapter 29

Elliot washes the last of the dishes, rinses his hands and dries them off on Olivia's cream dish towel.  Since she left the hospital four days ago, he's been there by her side.  Each day she's gotten stronger and abandoned the arm sling full time after day two.  It's been a challenge to keep her from overdoing it but he would expect nothing less. The stubbornness and the determination.  That's Olivia. 
The woman he is and forever will be in love with.
Over the past few days he's also noticed a change in Noah. The precocious toddler has been at his mother's side constantly since she set foot through the front door.  Elliot had made her breakfast earlier that morning and Noah was insistent on helping, even carrying the tray into the room. Despite understanding that she would be alright, he stayed close.  Noah brought half of the toys in the living room to her room so he could play and not leave her side for those first two days. A few times he joined them at her insistence but he wanted to give her this time, knowing that it didn't happen as often as she would like. 
His children have been in and out of the apartment as well in an attempt to make Olivia as comfortable with their lingering presence as possible. They've made it clear in no uncertain terms that they will be there to help for anything she needs while their father is away.  Her squad undoubtedly will step up to assist along with Lucy, but he feels a strong sense of pride at the thought that his family will be there to help take care of her.  There is a shift since she left the hospital.  The normal pushback isn't there and he feels an ease between them that never existed before.  There were times he caught her staring and when he lifted his eyebrow to silently call her on it, she gave him one of her best shy smiles.  The smile that made his heart flutter and break all at the same time because he couldn't imagine having to go a couple of months without seeing it.
"Hey," Olivia says emerging from the bedroom dressed casually in a purple v-neck shirt and jeans that hug her in all the right places.  Damn he was really going to miss her.
"Hey." He walks over and kisses her on the forehead gently, still overly cautious about not touching her shoulder or arm.
Olivia rolls her eyes playfully and brings him closer.  "I'm not made of glass Elliot, the shoulder is fine.  C'mere."
With her hand steady on the nape of his neck, she pulls him in, separating his lips with her tongue to deepen the kiss.  Elliot lets out a pained groan and can feel her smiling against him.  "You are an evil woman.  Don't tempt a starving man with a buffet."
Her hand drops down his back and he tenses immediately.  "It doesn't have to be temptation.  You could come into the back room with me."
She kisses him again and the feeling goes straight to his groin.  "Nope.  Thankfully I have to go.  I'm going to pick Eli up from school and he and I are going to practice his soccer moves a little bit."
It was one of his many attempts to make it up to his son that he told before that he wouldn't be leaving for work.  Eli was disappointed at first but soon bounced back and he was grateful.  The extra time that Elliot had been putting in with him while balancing taking care of Olivia helped with that as well.
"Do you mind dropping me off at Dr. Lindstrom's office?  I don't feel up to driving." 
Elliot stops moving, completely caught off guard by her question.  She hadn't mentioned her therapist in a while and he immediately begins to worry.
"I can just take a cab, I just didn't want to drive while I'm still taking the painkillers," she offers misreading his silence for not wanting to take her.
"No no." Shaking his head, he gathers his thoughts.  "Of course I can take you.  You shouldn't be driving anyway."
She rolls her eyes.
"What time is your appointment?"
"In an hour.  There's a little playroom for Noah there so he can come with me."
Before she can answer, Noah runs by full speed with one of his plastic red tubs presumably to fill it up with toys that she will have to fight with him to pick up later.  "Well on second thought, he does seem to have plenty of energy to run off."
Twenty minutes later they are pulling up in front of Dr. Lindstrom's office and Elliot watches as she gives Noah directions about being a good boy and to listen.  He's silently searching for any sign of discord.  Anything that's off.  Deep down he knows it's a good thing that she's kept up with her therapy.  There was a time that he had a deep aversion to sitting on a plush couch and telling a shrink his feelings and even when he began to see it as a positive thing, he would blow it off sometimes when things were going well in his life.  It's something that they both need and he realizes he needs to schedule an appointment for himself.  It's been too long.  There are demons that both of them harbor but he doesn't want that to ruin them.  He wants to be able to continue to talk to her, to open up and not feel a sense of panic when he's away from her for long periods of time.
"Hey, did you hear me?"  Olivia's eyebrow is arched, looking at him quizzically.
He kills the engine and smirks.  "Yeah of course."
Not believing him she repeats herself.  "The appointment should be an hour or so but don't rush with picking me up.  You guys take your time.  There's a coffee shop next door and I'll just hang out there until you all are done."
"You mean check work emails."
Rolling her eyes at obviously being busted she reaches in her bag and holds up a book.  "I don't get a ton of quiet time these days to read so I'll just settle in with this."  Elliot looks at the book, smiles and gives her a quick kiss before she leaves.
"Oh yeah and maybe I will check an email or two."
"I knew it," he yells out as the car door slams.  He doesn't pull off right away and waits as she makes her way towards the entrance.  She tosses her head, shaking her hair out of her face, clutching her bag close to her side.  Her stride is different than the one he remembers walking side by side with him when they were partners.  Fighting the urge to ask her what's wrong is difficult for him.  If there was anything nagging at her before he left he wanted to address it, but he had to give her space and time to deal with it in her own way.  Just as she has done for him.
In the park later, his heart is full watching Eli show Noah how to handle the ball and the little boy's giggles fill the air.  He's always loved Central Park, but like many things in his life he never stopped to enjoy it.  This time he does.  The clear sky, trees, families having picnics, dogs catching frisbies and Noah's attention.  A park free of the evil that he was used to associating with it.  He's appreciating it all and having Olivia in his life has finally made everything come full circle for him. 
His phone vibrates nonstop thanks to the group chat he has set up with the kids wanting to go to dinner tomorrow at their favorite pizza place.  He's all too willing to oblige.  Whatever they want, whatever they need. He's going to miss them.  There's a good chance that everything was going to be okay on this trip.  Danger was a part of what he did for a living for years, this time was no exception.  But everything can change in an instant.  So he's taking the time to smell the roses, see the trees, hear his kids' laughter. 
He will most likely return but he doesn't want to have any regrets.  There was a time that he left someone he loved and didn't say goodbye, didn't cherish those moments.  That will never happen again.  He was a lucky son of a bitch because he got something that most people never get...a second chance.  And he would get it right from now on.
"Dad what are you doing over there?" Eli asks him curiously.  "C'mon over here so I can beat you."
"Yeah come see Elli-yah," Noah adds almost tripping over the soccer ball that's too big for his little feet.  "Look what I can do."
Elliot smiles and puts the phone deep in his pocket.  "Alright boys.  Let the old man show you how it's done."