Our Boys

On The Streets Pt. 4

"Josh, it's JJ. It's Papa, Josh," soothed Simon. "He's not going to hurt Ethan."

"I took it," said Josh, "Ethan didn't do anything bad."

Ethan whimpered, his own fright increasing from the fear he could feel coming from Josh, and JJ squeezed his shoulders.

"Shh, kiddo," soothed JJ, though he felt anything but calm. It broke his heart to have his own fear confirmed. He was the reason Josh was feeling such terror.

"We took the 'Donald's bag," Ethan added.

Josh looked at Ethan, and also JJ. Simon felt the shudder that shook the boy's entire body.

"It's Papa, Josh," he continued to assure. "JJ, why don't you turn on the light so Josh can see you?"

The continued trembling and the rapid breathing of the boy in his arms disturbed Simon. His mind clicked back to the argument with the doctors prior to the boys placement with them. They had warned Simon that they were not prepared for Josh's trauma, and he knew they were right. They had gone to all the classes they recommended. They had been in Josh and Ethan's therapy sessions for months, yet he still felt as if he knew nothing. But Simon Minter never backed away from a challenge. He just hoped he was good enough to help Josh through this until he could see the therapist.

"See, Josh? It's just Papa," he said softly. "Papa won't hurt Ethan."

Josh watched JJ as the man came back and sat down on the floor with Ethan, a few feet away from him.

They were all silent for a few moments, no one knowing what to do next. Josh dropped his head back against Simon's chest and the blond leaned forward and whispered: "Did Papa scare you?"

Josh nodded and squirmed his hands and arms up through Simon's grasp so that he could wrap them over the man's arms, keeping Simon's tight grasp even closer.

"What scared you?" asked Simon in the same low tone.

"He grabbed me," the boy confided.

"When he pulled you out from under the table?"

The boy nodded. "It 'minded me of him." Josh tipped his head back and to the side looking for Simon's face. "He grabbed my leg and pulled me out from under the car." Josh gripped Simon's arms tighter.

Simon and JJ now understood the significance of the trigger. When JJ had grabbed Josh's leg and pulled him out from under the table, it had thrown wide open the memory that Josh had blocked. But that didn't explain the reaction to JJ holding Ethan. Maybe it was because Josh was only half awake and still caught in his nightmare, but Simon didn't think so.

He looked down at his arm where Josh was absently rubbing with his thumb. The boy didn't even seem to be aware that he was stroking Simon's arm but the blond was sure it was an act that brought comfort to him, a simple motion that released his tension.

"He took our money!" Ethan exclaimed.

"We found money in a rubbish bin," explained Josh. "He said it was his." He sighed, but the tension he felt still kept his body rigid. Josh tipped his head to look at Simon again, murmuring: "He said he'd kill Ethan and he'd rip my arms and legs off."

Simon pulled one arm free of Josh's grip and gently pulled the boy's cheek against his chest, kissing the him on the top of his head. More than ever he wanted vengeance on the low life that would terrorise a child, but he held his feelings close. Josh needed his calm attention.

"He won't hurt you now."

"He had black skin and big hair...like Papa's," the young boy whispered.

JJ cursed and Josh tensed. Ethan looked at JJ's face and wiped the man's tears with his pajama sleeve.

"Don't cry Papa," he said, slightly confused.

Josh pulled away from Simon's chest and looked at JJ.

"Kiddo..." said JJ, "I'll do anything... anything." He touched his hair. "I'll shave it off, Josh." JJ swallowed, "I don't want you to be afraid anymore. I love you Josh, and I can't stand that I'm hurting you."

Josh was very quiet, obviously taking in what JJ said, and trying to sort everything out in his mind.

"You would do that...for me?" he asked incredulously.

"In a second," said JJ. He didn't want to part with his hair style, but it was only hair. It didn't come close to the worth of a child.

"It's your call, Josh," said Simon. One of the things the classes had taught him was to give a traumatised child not only protection and comfort, but to give him choices and some sense of control.

Josh looked up at Simon. "I don't want to be scared."

Simon nodded his understanding. "Then you want JJ to shave off his hair? Will that help?"

Josh nodded.

"Okay, kiddo," said JJ. He stood Ethan up beside him and struggled to his feet. "It goes, right now." JJ walked out of the room towards the bathroom.

The three watched the man go, but then suddenly Josh pushed against Simon's arm and Simon let him go. He ran out of the room after JJ while Simon picked up a confused Ethan and followed.

When Josh reached the bathroom, JJ already had the electric razor out and was standing in front of the mirror.

"No, Papa! No!" cried Josh, grabbing JJ's arm.

JJ was startled and quickly set the razor aside to prevent harm.

"I love you, Papa," said Josh throwing his arms around JJ. "I know you won't ever hurt us, but my dreams don't know that yet."

JJ blinked back the tears.

"I love you," repeated Josh.

"Can I pick you up?" asked JJ softly.

Josh nodded and opened his arms to JJ, who happily scooped the small boy into a hug. "I love you too, Josh. And we'll just keep working on it until your dreams know that we love you too." He squeezed the youngster tightly. "Until your dreams know."

"Are you 'kay, Josh?" asked Ethan, from Simon's arms.

Josh thought about the fact that he didn't have to face his fears alone anymore. He didn't have to find a place to live or food to eat. He had Simon and JJ to help him now. His Dad and Papa. They would help him watch out for Ethan. He was loved and safe. What more could he want?

Josh leaned his head on JJ's shoulder. "I am now."

There's another mini-story completed!