Tevun-Krus #2 - Post-Apocalyptic

Some Dos & Don'ts of the Apocalypse

Some Dos & Don'ts of the Apocalypse

Hello there, Renoe here.

Today we will be looking at what you should and should not do during the apocalypse.

First off, I'm sorry, but there is nothing humanity as we currently are can do if an apocalypse is brought upon us by visitors from outer space.

As cool as 'Independence Day,' was, our pea shooters would stand absolutely no chance against technology that can cross the vast reaches of space.

Since we would stand no chance, we will focus on more manageable apocalyptic events; a more common and definitely more close to home threat:  

The zombie apocalypse.

That's right.

First off, I would like to point out that in our current technological state, the events of World War Z (as portrayed in the movie) are highly unlikely.

Note: Seriously, in World War Z, at least one person would have uploaded a viral video to YouTube or something. Not only did Israel not inform the rest of the world, but they built a wall around the country. No one thought this was odd?

I digress.

Whether it is by infection, curse, or plain bad luck, the zombie apocalypse is the most likely to come upon us—right after nuclear war.

So, what are some of the main "Do's & Don'ts" to look out for in the event of a zombie apocalypse?

I'm glad you asked.

Trust No One!

Humans turn very nasty and downright cruel when they have their backs to the wall. They will do anything to survive even if it means slaying the newcomer carrying extra ammo.

As terrifying as a zombie apocalypse may be, one should never forget the true biggest threat—humanity.

Team Up!

This may seem a bit odd, considering the first lesson. However, going it alone is a sure-fire way to get yourself ambushed. At the same time, make sure whatever group you choose to team up with has a working system in place.

If there is no clear leader, prepare to bail at a moment's notice. A team without a leader is a sleeping volcano with the potential to erupt at any time.

Make sure you have a clear task, yourself. If you are simply a tag-along, you will be seen as expendable by your mates. So, try to get working on something. Volunteer for sentry duty, join debates and generally make your voice heard.

If you are not the influential type, then volunteer for odd jobs like inventory check-up, comforting the kids, etc. Just make sure you are actually doing something. This is the surest way to avoid being left behind.

Weapons? What Weapons?

We've seen some pretty cool movies with badass weapons: Bats, crowbars, mallets, shotguns, flamethrowers... and so on. Unfortunately, only about a third of those weapons are practical and should be used during a zombie apocalypse.

Now, before we get ahead of ourselves, let's review zombies shall we? There are a lot, and I mean a LOT of zombie lore out there. However, I'll be leaning towards the popular TV series "Walking Dead." It's simple: Take out the brain, take out the zombie.

According to that lore, zombies possess low cognitive functions—they are extremely stupid (most can't work a ladder) and work only on external stimuli. This is both an advantage and disadvantage for us.

The advantage is pretty clear, but the disadvantage stems from the fact that we can only take out the zombies by destroying the lower part of the brain (which is responsible for controlling motor skills).

Blindly stabbing them on the head won't stop them from ripping out your throat. You need to aim to the side or behind the zombie's head. (Remember to thank me when you put this info to good use)

Weapons to Avoid

A lot of people would say guns are effective. However, less than half the world actually owns a gun, let alone can use one.

Unless you're a scripted movie protagonist, chances are you won't easily find one when you need it. And if you do, your aim would most likely suck big time. The sound of the gun would probably only draw them to you. Where are you going to find a silencer? ...for your shotgun? Oh? You're out of ammo? Man, that sucks. Maybe you should have though ahead and not gone with a gun as your weapon of choice.

What about knives? Well, knives are kind of a grey are—easy to find and use, BUT what about the reach? Knives force you to be within close proximity of your target. Don't forget: one bite and it's lights out for you. This major disadvantage can be remedied by wearing make-shift arm guards. Maybe.

Bludgeoners, you say? 2X4's, crowbars, hammers, wrenches etc. These may look cool, but they are not ideal for taking out a zombie. Two by fours have lack precise damage as the force is distributed along a wide surface area. Not to mention the stamina it consumes. Hammers and wrenches tend to get caught inside the brain, the latter requiring several strikes to smash it open. Sledge hammers can easily bash open a brain or two, but the blood splatter would spell the end for its user. Also, after a few swings, you'll be so worn out a baby zombie could catch you.

Molotov's & flamethrowers? Movies make these look deadly. Video games even more so... but in reality? Terrible. They burn zombies... That's about as effective as prodding them with a tissue. Worse off, you've got a burning zombie coming after you now. Significant upgrade.

Weapons to Use

By this point you're probably wondering "what the heck do I use then?" Fear not for the answer is quite simple. Your local axe and/or creativity.

The axe is a godsend weapon of destruction: easy to use and a lengthy reach. It can split open a zombie, easy. You don't even have to be that accurate. Chances are if you miss, you'll take out the neck instead. It does not consume a lot of stamina and is perfect for both sneak and frontal attacks. All in all, a perfect weapon.

In terms of creativity, take your everyday bat—Useful, but doesn't really kill except you're secretly a super strong superhero. Drill in some holes and stick in some protruding nails...

Voila! Your very own murder weapon with a nice reach, strong penetrating power and precise damage. Not only is it effective, but you won't have to worry about ammo, and won't get worn out easily.

Yes, look to your sides at those everyday mundane things. Add them all up together and you have an item that could do some serious damage.

However, no matter how powerful or precise your weapon is, they should only be used as a last resort. Believe it or not, realistically zombies would eventually collapse upon themselves. Slow zombies suffer natural decay and would eventually simply rot to extinction. Fast zombies as can be seen in more recent video games and films are usually more "human." If left to starve for too long, they die.

What to take out of this (besides the fact that I have way too much free time)?

Join a team or group and make yourself useful. However, don't become complacent. Be wary of the threat that is humanity.

Get creative. While using shotguns is all and good, the recoil is a bummer, the noise attracts more enemies, and worse... It's really heavy.

So, set aside all gung-ho attitudes and focus on survival. Play the long game because it's only a matter of time till the buggers die out. How long that would take is vague but it will certainly happen.

All credit goes to TheGameTheorist and Zombie Manual.