How Did I Miss Your Tears? [ Edited ]

3. What Makes Me Happy with This?

How Did I Miss Your Tears?

3. What Makes Me Happy with This? [ Edited ]

Note: Emotional and physical harassment in this chapter

<><><>

KARMA—

I am boiling over with anger. How dare he-

I don't understand my anger; shouldn't I be pleased that he didn't tattle me out?

A part of me laughs bitterly. Of course you are, baka. You're human. He helped you, but I'm not one to listen to the part of me that's right. Instead, I begin to plan the prank on Nagi-Shiota. Shiota, Shiota.

Anger is not a new emotion; I let it soak through me until nothing is left, though the image of N-Shiota's face, frantic, confused, and... a little unruffled, as if he has adjusted to the cruelty that comes from me. That part pisses me off the most, how dare he adapt to the torture I give him!

I storm down the hall and tug out my phone, rapidly texting two of my best buds, Terasaka and Yoshida, to meet me in the usual place. A plan is forming...

<><><>

When lunch arrives, I have finished my preparations. I know where Nagisa eats lunch, and with the help of Terasaka and Yoshida, we will tear him down.

The moment the male sits down on the bench outside, his back to where we are hiding, we spring out from our hiding spot, bucket in hand.

Nagisa lets out a yelp when he is soaked with icy water, turning those big blue eyes on us.

I snicker and roughly grab his arm, yanking him to his feet. "Oh dear, Shiota! What happened? We should really get you out of those wet clothes." With Terasaka holding his other arm, we pull him away from where he eats back into the school and into the abandoned boys' bathroom on the second floor.

"Don't worry, baby Shiota," I purr into his ear, "I have an extra uniform you can wear for the day, okay?"

He shakes his head at me, eyes empty. "Whatever, Karma. Give me the uniform and let me go," he says calmly, though I can feel him shaking, what with my hands on his arm. I don't know if he is shaking because of our prank or the chill of the water. I hope it's both.

I tell Yoshida to watch the door and have Terasaka hold his arms while I get the uniform. Twist: it's a girl's uniform.

Nagisa blanches when he sees it, shooting me a panicked look. Is he actually that scared of being treated as a girl? Is that the kind of guy he is?

I smirk, as nothing else matters. I refuse to think of the times I had held him after...

The memories are tucked away for a more private environment. I don't care about Nagisa anymore, why should I care about what will happen to him at home?

I start with his shirt, and he doesn't struggle much, as the shirts are the same for both genders. I'm trying not to stare at the pale expanse of his chest, or the faded yellow bruises dotting his abdomen and wonder if it was me or... I also am completely unaware of the smooth, lean muscle of his arms and chest, or the way his back arches in silent protest to what we are doing.

The shirt is a little loose in the bust, and it's the smallest size but it still is a little long on him. 

When we get to his pants is when it gets bad. After removing his shoes, I have to take off his belt, and I'm fighting off a blush as I kneel before him and unbuckle his belt. It's worse because he's trying to get me away from him and his hips are moving and I feel like I'm going to throw up. 

I finally manage his belt and yank down his pants and his legs are a mess. Thin and pale and covered in bruises that I know, I know, aren't from me. I feel sick. 

I say nothing, as I can feel Terasaka watching me, and instead I unfold the skirt with shaking fingers and slide it up to his hips. I tighten the skirt and straighten up, taking Terasaka's place holding Nagisa. I pin his wrists over his head and I can  feel how much he is shaking. It's enthralling.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" I hiss into his ear as I slide a hand through his hair and pocket the second pair of pins. "A beautiful girl in the boys' bathroom? That's asking for trouble."

He is staring up at me with empty eyes. "Let me go, Karma." His voice is higher than normal, and it quivers on my name. I bask in the feeling.

Yes, Nagisa, fear me.

I raise my eyebrows at him. "What was that? I can't hear you with that sweet little voice, princess."

"Let. Me. Go." His voice is firm and true and sends a shiver down my spine. I don't know that Nagisa.

"Oh, dear me. Let me tell you something." I grin a wicked grin and press my mouth against his ear. "You fucked up everything for me, and I'm never going to finish punishing you for it. We both know why I dressed you like this. You don't want them to see your true colors, do you? That's why you're shaking." I am an evil person, I know, and I shift so one of my legs is positioned between his. "You don't want them to see the child that your mother truly wants, not the messed up little bitch with a dick that she gave birth to." I snarl these last words.

He is shaking and a strangled noise comes from his throat. His mother is a low hit, the lowest hit, and we both know it.

"What's wrong, princess?" I sneer. "Cat got your tongue?" I pull back from his ear to take in his expression and stop short. Are those... tears? Is he about to cry?

For all the punishments and torture Nagisa had gone through his whole life, with his mother and then me, I had only seen him cry once. It was the first time that...

He had explained to me that he only cried when he felt like life wasn't worth living, when he felt betrayed and unloved. Did I really make him feel like that?

A part of me was proud. I broke Nagisa Shiota. I managed my goal. I hurt him in a way that was irreparable.

Another part of me was crushed. I had made Nagisa cry. I didn't mean to- didn't want to-

My moment of distraction allows him to yank himself out of my grip, and I think something on my face prevents the others from stopping him. A last glance at his face let me see that he was full-out crying.

Nagisa was crying.

Nagisa was crying.

Nagisa was crying.

I never meant to make him cry. 

A/N:

Finally! Another chapter! Thank you for being patient with me, as I've been quite busy recently. If you read my 'Important Message' this is kind of a repeat(it's deleted now), but finals are coming up, which is stressful, and I've had some bad writer's block, plus I sprained my wrist a few days ago, so no promises on when the next update will be. Hopefully in the next month or so.