"Some days, I wish things turned out differently."
He embraced his demons and became a legend.
She ran away from hers in hopes of a better life.
However, she learned you can't run away from your past, from your troubles. The demons come back, they a...
It was nice to recall times of our times in Japan before everything turned sour. However, there were some stories that I didn't recognize. Even though I left soon after Sebastiàn's passing, the legacy of the club lived on with those three men.
Throughout the night, Fergal kept glancing over my way and fiddling with his beer. At one moment, he rose from his feet and moved to the seat next to me on the sofa. Drew and Chad continued on with their conversation as I tried to listen on; with Fergal next to me, though, I found my attention being turned.
"Can we talk?" He leaned over and whispered in my ear.
Chills covered me as his breath tickled my neck. I gripped harder to my drink to keep the nerves at bay. Biting my bottom lip, I hesitated to look over at him. Meeting his blue eyes, I felt my heart melt.
For a moment, I saw the man I first became friends with back in New Japan; I saw the man I considered my best friend; I saw the man I fell in love with. However, the moment faded and I saw the remains to that man - the superman of NXT, the one children looked up to and the women swooned over, the Demon King, the one who struct fear in the hearts of his opponents.
Prince Devitt. Finn Bálor. Fergal Devitt.
A man by many names. A man with many talents. A man with many achievements.
I nodded my head towards his question, causing a smile to form on his face. He motioned towards his room, somewhere more private to speak. With the two too deep into conversation for them to be pulled out, we sneaked into his room.
Shutting the door behind him, my stomach lurched. That night flashed before my very eyes before I snapped back to reality. He let out a deep breath, his eyes transfixed on the floor.
"What do you want, Fergal?" I asked, my nerves causing my voice to quiver.
Without much notion, Fergal approached me and pulled me into a kiss.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
My body froze, not knowing if I should kiss back or not. His good hand found it's way to the side of my face to cradle it. Tears formed and fell as I didn't return the kiss. Confused, he stopped and stepped back to look at me.
"I... I am so sorry..." He apologized when he noticed the tears. Moving his thumb to wipe away the ones that trickled down, I pushed it away. I bit my bottom lip to stifle a cry as I looked up at him. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, which he tried hard to will away, "It's just that... I don't want us to be strangers again."
"Fergal..." I turned away as more tears fell from my eyes, "It's not just the goodbye that hurt me. It's the constant flashbacks I experience of that night and all the times we were happy that hurt. Oh, how badly I wish I could bring back those happy times. I miss them...
"I remember every word you said that night. Every name you called me, every lie you ever told me, everything that described your real feelings towards me... and that's what kills me inside. Because every time I see you, I act like I'm over you, like I've moved past whatever happened in Japan. I tell myself that I hate you. But deep down... deep deep down, past all the hate I have in my heart for you, I know that I love you. And every time I see you, I fall for you. I love you, Fergal Devitt. But I hate that I love you.
"You are the reason why I don't drink. You are the reason why I'm afraid of people touching me. You are the reason why I don't let people in because I'm terrified that they will be exactly like you; you, the man that proclaimed that he never loved me, the man who toyed with my emotions like I was your little puppet on a string... the man that broke me. And, to be honest, I don't know where my feelings are at for you right now. Part of me wants to forgive you, but the other part is afraid of getting hurt again."
"Then let me prove myself. Let me prove that I am still that man you met on your first day in New Japan. Let me prove that I am still in love with you. Let me prove that I will never, in a million years, hurt you again. Let me prove myself."
A small sob shook my body and tears followed. The armor around my heart told me not to trust him, that he was a dangerous man that would hurt me again. I didn't know if I could bare getting hurt again.
What if I did forgive him, though? There was the possibility of things getting better and us possibly becoming friends again.
As I weighed both options, I thought about something Jonas told me countless times when it came to Fergal.
"The best way to escape from the past is not to avoid and forget it, but to accept and forgive it."
After thinking it over, I let out a deep breath and looked up at him. His eyes filled with hope as he awaited my answer.
"You have until you return from this injury to prove yourself to me."
I hope you enjoyed. How did I do? Let me know in the comments. Thanks for reading. And until next time, heart you. <3
