Broken Hearts & Lonely Stars(girlxgirl)

Chapter Nine: Dancing With Your Demons...

             "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"

The chanting kept getting louder as I slipped my way through the crowd, ignoring the seductive smiles from the past girls I slept with. I wasn't in the mood right now. It was Johnny's birthday bash and I didn't want to ruin it with my sexual dramatic past with these girls. I grabbed a beer from the kitchen table and headed out to the giant backyard where people danced practically having sex with each other as the heavy techno beats trembled the ground. I walked towards the oak tree near the wooden fence as I leaned against it, drinking away my feelings, staring at the party before.

I watched as Johnny laughed with his group of friends as girls were thrown at him. He looked happy in his little scene, having no worry in him while I stood there underneath the tree's shadow, embraced the familiarity of loneliness. It didn't affect me nor evoke any emotions I had buried deep inside. I just continued to drink, invisible to the people's views as I slipped a cigarette between my lips and lit it up, not carrying if it worsen my chance to live.

"Alright!" The DJ rose his drink in the air and everyone in the party even from inside the house rose theirs, mimicking the DJ's. "Thanks for coming to Johnny's birthday bash everyone. Johnny, you're my best friend since the day we met at the Stoner's Pad where you were congratulated to be in the DeathWish Family. You're hitting the big '26', bro. Don't do anything stupid and just live it!"

The crowd cheered as the DJ grabbed a guitar and started strumming the tunes of the Birthday Song while I stood there, shocked to my very toes.

Best friend...

Could it be possible that Johnny replaced me with a guy he could truly relate to?

You would always be alone and unwanted...

Shocked.

That's what I felt as I watched Johnny grin as the DJ sang to him with the crowd following behind. Johnny hardly even noticed my disappearance nor seemed to be looking for me, wanting me to be by his side like the other birthdays when he held me by his side while we both shared the fantastic, loving attention everyone had for him. No, instead he grabbed some girl by the hand and hugged her, kissing her in front of everyone, ignoring their cheers. A cake was brought and who held it both shocked me even more. Chelsea and Bridget both grinned as they lit the candles, Johnny kissing their cheeks as if my hatred towards both Chelsea and Bridget never existed.

Is this how it was the last four years I was gone?

Being in the sidelines once again as I watched everything happen, no one even acknowledging my presence at all?

I let the bottle slip from my fingers as it fell in a light thud onto the grass as I walked away, ignoring the cheering crowd once again yelling Johnny a happy birthday. I took another drag of the cigarette, letting the smoke spill out of my lips as I escaped the suffocating mass of people and to the blissful night that awaited me with a light caress of the night's breeze. I stared at the night sky for a moment, having a slight hope inside of me that Johnny would welcome me back in his arms and share his celebration with me like he once did before but nothing happened in those ten minutes that I waited. Nothing but the cracking inside my chest as I walked through the lonely night, wandering endlessly through the streets, not caring if I ended up in another brawl.

"Happy Birthday, Johnny," I whispered to the night, wanting a tear to fall but it never did...

            I didn't know why I ended up here nor did I have the energy to walk away. I could hear the faint sounds of the TV inside as I held my knuckles inches away from the door. My heart pounding hard against my chest as I stared blankly at the white door before me. Did I had the courage to come back here? Did I have any dignity left to succumb back here? I promised myself not to step foot back in this place. It was the second place besides my folks' house I wanted to step inside.

As much as I debated with myself, I let my knuckles rap against the door, waiting for the person to answer. Footsteps shuffled closer to the door, the locks being turned and finally the door opened. I held my breath as I watched the figure lean against the threshold, smirking. The small glint in those amber eyes as they scanned me ever so slowly. She was still beautiful since high school. The way her fiery red hair spiraled down her shoulders, framing her well rounded breasts that were covered by a long T-shirt. Her long legs looked smooth as I felt my lips twitch into my own smirk as those amber eyes drifted back to my gaze.

"If I could recall," she begun, amusement flashing in those eyes, "you said you wouldn't dare step foot in this house. That I was nothing but a sexual distraction. What happened, Rhea? Bridget finally let you out of your miserable cage?"

I chuckled as I approached her, remember the good times we spent together alone while I was dating Bridget in high school. The trips into the janitor's closet, the nights I snuck into her room while her dad left for his midnight shift. I don't remember what reason I broke every connection with her. She was my addiction to forget my problems. She was something I needed now. With my cancer and the neglect I had throughout my life. I skimmed my fingers up her thigh, feeling her shudder underneath my touch. My smirk grew as I watched her succumb to my touch like the last time we spent the night.

"But from what I remember," I smirked as I watched the hidden desire that's been lurking inside this girl as I leaned closer to her face, hearing the small gasp escape her luscious, full lips, "you never truly cared if I had someone on the sidelines."

Samantha giggled as she grabbed my hand and pulled me inside, closing the door after me. She pushed me against the wall and I rose my eyebrow, grinning. "You know me so well, Rhea."

I chuckled as I dove in and captured her lips with mine as I let everything drift away. I was gaining back what I forgot I had before: Being the heartless bitch who slept around, not giving a damn about the people who get hurt in the process.

I was living my life as the way I wanted it.

Let Johnny replace me, let my family worry in their own misery, I was done. By tomorrow, the old Rhea would be returning and no one would like the Heartless Rhea anymore.

I can guarantee that.