Forced Motherhood

4- The womb

I woke up, and slowly my eyelids opened, and a horrible, old, light-yellow wallpaper met my eyes. It was tearing down, the glue that kept it attached to the wall was losing its force. The top of it was all curled and wrinkled by humidity. I focused on the images printed on it: little ducks. Balloons. Fishes and frogs. A lake.

Something is rotten in this room.

And, in fact, that place smelled of dust and mold.

I sat on the bed someone had put me to. It was a room, a very small room. I could see no windows. Light came from a huge glass chandelier. It reminded me my grandma chandelier. The one that hang from the ceiling in the dining room, the one with crystal-drops I loved to stare when someone turned on the light. It gave shades of blue, pink and green lights all around the room. And I felt like a princess in her great palace. I thought those were real diamonds and imagined my great great grand mother had inherited it from a queen, a beautiful queen with red hair and blue eyes. But now fairytales were over. That was not my grandma's living room. That was a dusty chandelier that gave no colored reflections. And obviously that chandelier didn't match at all with the rest of the room. Furniture was made of white wood. I could see a wardrobe and a dresser on my left. Then, I saw them: a white, old fashioned crib and a changing table. Diapers perfectly piled on it, as well as pink and blue towels. Teddy bears and dolls were in every part of the room, even on my bed. Baby bottles stood silently piled on a little tea table, waiting for someone to wipe the dust off of them.

"Oh my God...". It was a nursery. A cool shiver run through my spine and I suddenly embraced myself to keep me warm. My hands touched a strange material. I was not touching my clothes: I was wearing a horrible blush-pink nightgown, full of ribbons and roses. It smelled terrible.

Fuck.

I started screaming but half an hour later, my throat aching, nobody had come to rescue me. I couldn't believe it. These things happen in books and movies!!

Okay this is a prank. It must be a stupid prank....where are the cameras?!.

No cameras. No windows. Only a double-key metal door. I ran towards it and quietly tried to open it. I knew it: it was closed from the outside. Then, rage won the battle against fear and I started to beat my hands on the door, screaming, yelling, fighting. My hands ached but I didn't mind. I punched, kicked, literally threw myself against the door. There was no way out. Then, tired, I started crying, covering my face with my swollen, bloody hands.

Billions of thoughts started to dance in my head: Where was I? Who got me there? And..what did he want from me? Maybe he wanted to kill me? Rape me? Keep me there and ask for some money for my release? And if there was no he? If it was a woman?

Silence was the only answer. I laid on the floor, in fetal position. And fell asleep.