Falling Apart

Chapter 3

Sitting on the airplane I tried to block out the ruckus going on around me with music.

Lucas lay next to me sleeping, following my lead and using music to block out surrounding noise. 

Listening to "I will be" by Leona Lewis I closed my eyes to try and stop the ache in my heart that never seemed to go away. I would have never thought that riding in a plane would be so painful, for so long it had signified excitement and adventure. Now it meant leaving behind everything I've ever loved, including the bodies of my parents that have yet to be found. 

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Getting out of the plane we met my aunt and uncle outside of the gates. Their faces were solemn and they gave us a soft a hello but a strong and deep hug. I didn't realize how much I needed that bit of comfort and warmth until John's big arms wrapped around my shoulders. 

John and Lisa said that they already sent all of Lucas's and my belongings to their home that was just a few miles deep into the countryside. 

As we drove down the streets, the view of the woods was breathtaking. Since it was the beginning of summer, the trees were full and lush, creating a soft shadow onto the roads. The air was fresh and cool, and for a moment my mind could escape and get lost in the peace that nature provides. 

After a few moments, we pulled up to an open field with a wooden house in the middle. The house was protected by large metal gates, and towards the back, I could see a few barn houses scattered about. 

"This is it" John stated as Lisa hoped out of the car to open the gate. As soon as we were through, Lisa climbed back in and we drove up to the small rocky driveway. 

We all quietly made our way into the house, it's interior quiet and dark.

"We haven't been here in a while so it's a bit dusty. We'll clean it tomorrow morning so don't worry" Lisa stated, taking Lucas' backpack and setting it beside the front door.

John flipped on the lights, illuminating the entryway. The house opened into a large family room that was connected to the kitchen. It was decorated in warm browns and soft oranges, giving it a cozy cabin feeling. 

Walking around my eyes quickly teared up as I scanned through the family pictures hanging on the walls. 

Pictures of me and Lucas when we were babies. Large family portraits from our family vacations. A beautiful picture of my parents on their wedding day.

I felt arms wrap around my shoulders from behind me and I leaned into the warmth they provided.

"I know" Lisa whispered, "I miss them so much"

We stood in silence as we admired the photographs, Lucas and John joining us after a few moments. 

It was painful but I didn't look away. My biggest fear was forgetting my parents, or most importantly Lucas forgetting. 

I will never let that happen.

"I think it's time we grabbed a quick meal and headed to bed, it's been a long day" John stated, grabbing Lucas' hand and guiding us all to the kitchen. 

We made ourselves simple ham sandwiches, none of us hungry enough to cook a meal. Afterward, John and Lisa went to take a quick look around the property while I helped Lucas get ready for bed. 

Putting Lucas inside the bathtub I closed the curtains and sat on the toilet waiting for him to finish, too scared to wait outside the bathroom.

"I think that mommy and daddy are in heaven," Lucas said over the sound of running water.

I closed my eyes in pain. I had never been very religious but I hoped more than anything that heaven was real. The idea of my parents simply disappearing was too much to bear.

"I hope so sweetie" I whispered, trying to ignore the ache in my heart.

"No, I know they are. They told me" 

My hand came up to cover my mouth as I tried to breathe in deeply. I didn't respond to Lucas, I didn't know what to say. I hoped it was true, every fiber in my being hoped it was true. 

After putting Lucas to bed, I took a quick shower while keeping my cast dry.

John and Lisa had finished walking around their property and found no damage. They quickly gave us a kiss goodnight and said we would begin getting settled in tomorrow. 

Touching the scar running across my left side I couldn't help but let the tears I've been holding back all this time fall and cascade down my face. 

It seemed neverending: the pain, the tears, the feeling that this is all just a sick nightmare.

But it wasn't. 

And I knew that when I woke up tomorrow, nothing would change.