Stiletto Sisterhood

Original Edition: Isobel/Eshe | Now & Always

"No." Prying her hands free, Shayne swiped angrily at tears but more spilled. "Now is all we have. And I need to say this—for you to know..." Isobel watched, quiet and patient as Shayne pulled herself together, eyes closed and breathing determined. Balancing herself on the razors edge of emotional sanity. "Your dad begged me, Bel. Begged me. How could I say no when all he wants is what's best for you?"

"I understand that, but you still should've come to me first. Allowed me to be part of this decision." And she'd said as much to her father in their couple of hours together earlier this morning. "Would you have let him go? Not right away. But I'd like to think in time...As for Kyle...you didn't trust me with the truth. I deserved better from you, whatever your intentions." She rubbed a hand across her brow, working away the stiffness there. "Shayne, you can't do this anymore. I need you to step back and let me fail, if that's what it takes. It's my life, my choice."

Because that's what it boiled down to: choice and the loss of it. Too much had happened, in the last few months, that was stripped out of her grasp of control. Leaving her a cagey mess, feeling trapped, pressured and unsure as she marched towards an uncertain future.

Her body lurching forward with forced steps of change against her will or say so. Where questions loomed, dark and menacing, things she'd never stopped to think about or ask. To confront the terrifying truth when every facet of her being wanted to ignore it than to give in and embrace that change.

"But you weren't entirely wrong," Isobel confessed, dropping her hand back into her lap. "Part of me was lapsing—wanted to go back to him. To the simplicity of the old and the familiar. Where I felt safe." And God, how it hurt to admit that truth out loud. That weakness. "But I've realized I can't go back. Nothing will ever be the same again. And that scares me."

"I'm scared, too." Shayne whispered and pressed her lips into a hard line as if she didn't want to let the words out, to give breath to the deepest, darkest corners of truth most wouldn't dare let themselves explore or say aloud. "So much is changing with us—with all of us. Our lives and jobs and relationships, so fast and pulling us further and further apart.

I'm protective and sometimes I take it too far, I know, you guys are all I have. Not my parents—or my grandmother, even my brother is so tangled up in being the Golden Prince I had to adjust who I was for him whereas you are the only family who have truly accepted me as I am and I can't lose you. And here you were, moving so far beyond all of us." Shayne set her teeth into her bottom lip. Shook her head as more tears splashed onto her thighs, soaking into the dark denim like drops of ink.  "Marriage. Babies. I have no place in all of that."

"You're my family, Shayne. You will always be my family." Cupping her chin, Isobel angled her gaze so they were level, so there was no escaping what she was about to say. "I love you. Okay? I love you fiercely. Like Sheldon loves his spot."

Despite the infinite blackness of despair, Shayne's lips quirked into a murky smile. "I love you, too," she said. "Like Kanye loves Kanye."

#

Eshe watched with her back to the hall as Isobel and Shayne held each other, tangled mess of arms, tears and laughter. A picture that had relief and love swelling so bright inside of Eshe she was sure she almost glowed.

Eshe had arrived at the hospital moments ahead of Cait and Priya. In light of all that was happening around them, they'd embraced without words—without hesitation, a silent, unspoken agreement that despite everything—all was forgiven. But a small part of her worried that rift between Isobel and Shayne would not be so easily mended.

She could breathe a little easier now knowing that whatever their problems, there was hope. They would heal and the Sisterhood would remain whole. Thank god for small miracles.