Kidnapped By Beyoncé

Hot Sauce

"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" Someone screamed during gunfire.

Everyone in Red Lobster ducked to the floor.

Beyoncé looked at me with excitement, "They're here," she said calmly. She grabbed my hair and dragged me from our booth to the Lobster tanks.

There I was, surrounded by twenty live lobsters and the famous R&B group, Destiny's Child. I was shook to see all three beautiful women look at me with such disgust. They wanted answers, but I had none.

Beyoncé crept up from behind me and tightened my handcuffs. I looked to the right to see Solange bringing a Red Lobster silk napkin to my face. Then, to my surprise, Kelly and Michelle took hold of my hair and pulled my head over a lobster tank. With the napkin over my entire face, Beyoncé poured iced water on my head. I was choking and trying to move, but Kelly and Michelle had a gucci grip and the handcuffs weren't coming undone anytime soon. Although I was coughing and couldn't breath, I was happy as ever. I was being waterboarded by Beyoncé.

Beyoncé stopped pouring the water, and yelled, "Are you gonna tell me yet! Huh?! Who's he with!" I stayed silent, so she poured more on me until I finally created a lie.

"He's at Kim's house!" I yelled in agony.

"Kim Kardashian? What in the hell is my man doing over there?" Beyoncé whispered to Solange.

"He's been shagging each Kardashian and is making his way to the Jenner's as we speak" I clarified to her.

Beyoncé dropped the big glass of ice water, shattering it all over the tile flooring of the restaurant. "YOU DON LOST YOUR MOTHAFIHUP MIND, JAY!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. She ran out of the restaurant in her lemon heels and yellow Hold Up dress faster than Flash.

Everyone in the restaurant could hear her screaming outside in the parking lot. "WHAT'S WORSE, JAY?" She hollered, "LOOKING JEALOUS OR CRAZY? JEALOUS OR CRAZY HUH?!"

Solange grabbed me by my shirt and we all went outside to see Bey with a baseball bat violently hitting cars.

I began to cry at the sight of Beyoncé in such pain. She was my everything and to see her lashing out like that hit me home. I had to do something.

I looked to Solange and whispered to her, "I lied. It wasn't Kim. I don't know wh-"

Tina Lawson, Beyoncé's mother, walked up to us and interrupted my confession by asking Solange, "What the hell is Bey's problem?"

Solange told Tina the whole story, informing her on my invasion.

Tina softly pulled me close to her. "What in god's name have you girls done to this poor child?!" She hollered. "Give me the keys to these handcuffs. Why on Earth would y'all believe he'd know who Shawn has been with?"

"Cuz he was walking where Bey last saw Jay. He gotta know something!" Kelly screamed.

Tina unlocked the handcuffs. I was finally free.

"I'm sorry I lied about Kim Kardashian. I seriously don't have any idea where Jay is." I said.

"Mmk" Michelle mumbled. Her body language said it all. She still didn't believe me.

In the corner of my eye I could see Beyoncé dancing elegantly in the street. Her yellow dress was twirling and her "hot sauce" bat was spinning with her as she held it out with both hands under a mist of water that came from the fire hydrant she previously smashed.

I looked at Tina and then back at Beyoncé. Only this time Bey wasn't as peaceful. She was in a monster truck.

"RING THE ALARM!!!" Beyoncé screamed as she hit the gas. "YOU CAN'T STAY, YOU GOTTA GO!!!"

She was driving towards me at a lightning speed, so I had no other choice but to bolt the other direction. Beyoncé was furious... And she wanted me dead.