Liquid Stress

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So lately, Air and I have had an on and off again friendship. This last time, was pretty bad. She unfriended me on Facebook, she deleted the book about us. It was bad, I honestly thought it was the end of us. But no we got our acts together, and one day we might grow apart or finally break it off permanently. If that ever comes to hand then, I wouldn't delete this book, I might never write in it again but I wouldn't delete it only because I wanna look back and read about me falling hopelessly in love with a girl I'd never have. 

Our friendship is very choppy right now, but most of my friendships are. I refuse to date and broke up with my girlfriend just because the next month or two I will be a bitch. I will more than likely either be angry, depressed, or not at a sane point in time. My grandmother has horrible health problems and with all the surgeries and other stuff going on right now, she has a high chance of dying. My grandma helped raise me, she is like my second Mom, she means the world to me. And the doctors and surgeons she has right now, are just fucking stupid.

I envy those like Airy, those kids my age where their biggest concerns are acne, crushes, rumors, and bad grades. But then again I am also happy that those aren't my greatest problems, I am thankful I'm not as shallow as the people at my school. I am thankful I know how to appreciate a person's life, money, and what I get. I have had a single Mom and grandparents raised me, I have been both rich and poor. I know how to live every day like I might die the next. I pity those who don't.

I hate talking to people who have never had anything seriously bad happen in their life. Just because I think it makes them naive and stupid most of the time. I hate talking to the selfish little brats who can't appreciate anything they are given. I have known families that if you didn't have your own damn money you didn't get clothes or shoes or video games. The only thing you got was food and shelter, if you wanted anything else, you damn well do it yourself. I really really hate the negative people who just don't give a damn about life or others because they are so absorbed in self-pity.

I understand that lately, Air has been having problems with her asshole friends at school, and no I do not mind saying her friends are bitches because the ones I have talked to and heard about were bitches. For once, I'm also not being a hypocritical teen. I had a best friend of mine, who I also dated, we broke up and I got to see the real her. She is a fake, she lies about everything and wouldn't know the truth, or reality if it bit her on the damn ass. I don't talk to her anymore, not unless I have to, and since she is my best friend's best friend then I do sometimes have to talk to her. but I try to avoid it.

Because I know, if we have a long enough conversation, that one day I will just break her nose. Now I won't regret it. I pulled this girl's hair once in fourth grade and once I got to the principles office I freaked and started lying. Now if I had to go talk to the head honcho at my school if I broke my ex's nose, I wouldn't freak. In fact, when she asked why I broke her nose I would more than likely say because I was tired of her bullshit or she just pissed me off, and if I got the chance I would do it again. Yea, it's safer for me not being around her.

In the three states, I have lived in I have always gotten one or two best friends, and there are a few people I will confide in, trust and bend over backward to make happy. Those people would be Envi and Kimmi. Now you may be asking, if you love Airy, why isn't she on that list. Well, my reason is that I have already bent and broken myself to make her happy, I have confided in her. I just have given up. She is my friend, ex-twin, and the girl I used to love more than life itself.

I have a strong philosophy I believe deeply. The first part is that if someone hates you, then there is a 78% chance that they really are jealous of you. When I was told this when I was eight, I thought jealous meant of what I owned or how I looked. But that wasn't it. I find if anyone is ever jealous of me it's either because of my family, my friends, or who I am. My family loves me and we are all very close. I have lots of amazing, loyal, and real friends. And I am comfortable with who I am. I don't care most of the time what others think of me. As long as I like who I am, they can fuck off.

The second part is don't be a fake bitch like my ex. It's not good and it will come back and bite you on the ass, I have seen it happen so often, I am sometimes afraid to ever be a bitch. Because these fake people will marry a fake wife or husband and have lots of fake friends, and when the fake spouse screws them over, their fake friends won't help them. The family will have turned against them for being bastards and then they will have no one to help them off their sorry ass. It's sad, but it's reality. Do Not Piss Off Karma.

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