Keeping one secret is already hard enough. Their love is something they can't openly show the world. Even though you'd expect it to be hard, everything seems to be going just fine, until a certain person starts playing around with them.
Namjoon des...
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-Jin's perspective-
Jin rolled over staring at the ceiling. It was almost an impossible task trying to sleep on nights like this. Nights when he felt completely alone though he was not. But, he was alone with his thoughts which was more than enough loneliness for him. He didn't want his mind drifting to his lover who felt so far away though he wasn't. Jin sat up squinting his eyes as he heard something at the door. It sounded a lot like paper.
Jin stood from his bed carefully trying to make as little noise as possible so he wouldn't wake Tae. He tipped toed over to the door picking up the letter and taking it into his small hands with a smile. He breathed out as he unfolded it looking at the words that were delicately placed on the paper. As he read he felt himself tearing up with each and every word. He closed his eyes, hugging it to his chest as if it was the most precious thing. He knew he had to write him back, and poor his heart into it. It had to show how much he cared for his love.
He wanted Namjoon to know just how much he needed him, he took a small breath wiping a stray tear from his face. He kissed the letter with his big, plump, pink lips. He got up from the floor stumbling to his bed slipping the letter into his bag so he wouldn't forget it. Staying quiet as he did so.
He curled up in his bed feeling a bit better, after having read the letter that warmed his heart so much. He knew just from the words written by his lover that it had so much love in it. And, he wasn't going to let it go to waste. That just wasn't an option.
He knew that he would have it ready by tomorrow evening. That would be the best time, because all the other band members would be fast asleep. He closed his eyes. Knowing that he'd probably still be up for an hour or so before finally being tired enough to force himself asleep.
He pushed his hair back from his face and rolled over onto his back staring up at the ceiling with an empty expression. Emotionless yet seemingly so full of pain. It almost hurt to think about anything other than Namjoon. He was in his thoughts, in his every waking moment. Making it impossible to ignore.
He thought about how he would hopefully soon get to be with his lover without keeping it a secret from anyone. How they could go out on dates, and kiss each other without having to worry about getting caught. He just wanted to hold him in his arms, and talk to him about everything. His dreams, his aspirations, and the things he thought about instantaneously.
He grinned at the thought, turning onto his side and letting his eyes close slowly as he drifted off into the dark abyss called sleep.
- -
Dear Namjoon,
I never thought this would happen, the impossible. I knew I felt some type of pull toward you, when I first saw you. Looking deep into your dark, mysterious eyes, I never thought I'd be able to look away. I hate keeping you a secret. I want everyone to know that you are mine and I am yours. I don't care who knows, I just want you. No, I need you. I need you to kiss me, to make love to me.
I wish you were here to keep me company in my room that I share with who you call the alien. And, though I'm not really alone - I'm so lonely here without you. I toss and turn at night without you here to protect me from my demons. My night terrors. You know how bad they can get. But I'm okay, curled up in the sheets thinking about you. Wishing you were here. Do you understand how much I long for you? The Tae is company, but who doesn't need the company of their true love? I sure as hell do.
Come to me, Namjoon. I don't know how long I can handle being away from you. If I stray away from you for too long - I just don't know what will happen to me. Give me reassurance that you'll stay here with me. Please, my love.
I want you to hold me close to you, kiss me like you are drowning and I am your only source of air, and tell me everything is going to be just fine. Imagine what the boys will think of that.
