in order to survive ; taegi

three

taehyung liked looking into peoples' eyes.

there could be so much inside of them.

some were shallow and bright, and there wasn't much to dig into. their emotions would be laid out right in the iris for everyone to see, right on display because they didn't have anything to hide. those kinds of eyes were the eyes of people who were happy.

others were dark and deep, and looking inside meant falling into the endlessly gray depths that light could no longer reach. those were sad eyes, or they were angry eyes, and taehyung didn't like looking into those.

maybe that was why taehyung couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with yoongi.

they stood by the railing facing each other but not looking at each other, cars whooshing past them in blurry movements and the water beneath them making waves that slapped against shores and beat against the poles supporting the bridge.

taehyung wanted a wave to come crashing down on him, and him only, to drag him into the water.

just so he could avoid yoongi's gaze.

"why?"

taehyung merely shrugged.

"does there have to be a reason?"

yoongi sighed, pulling taehyung's hood up.

"it's cold. you should go back home."

"why were you outside? here?" taehyung's eyes flitted up with curiousity, only brushing past yoongi's cheeks and nose before fluttering back to the ground.

"wanted some fresh air," yoongi said. "you?"

taehyung hesitated. he had just opened his mouth to speak when yoongi interrupted him.

"wait," he said. "don't answer that. sorry for asking."

"it's fine," taehyung smiled weakly. "walk with me?"

and so yoongi did walk with him, slowly matching his strides with the speed of taehyung's.

they passed by gray cars and dark water and old stores and streets, keeping silent lips sealed as they went, because silence could sometimes be the loudest of conversations. that was exactly what their silence was; it was their way of conversing, by walking side by side and sharing the sights that came with walking in the streets and bridges of seoul at three a.m.

and then yoongi kept walking when taehyung reached his apartment and went inside, still silent. he smiled once at yoongi before starting up the stairs, and yoongi smiled back.

their eyes only locked for three seconds, but yoongi felt that it was for years that their eyes met. he saw a flash of genuine happiness sprint through the whites of taehyung's eyes, and then fade just as quickly.

and that was the worst part. that the happiness in the boy's eyes was so short lived.

* * *

taehyung awoke when his front door shut with a loud thud.

he blinked rapidly.

who had just walked inside?

his heart thumped precariously against his rib cage with a sudden sense of urgency, and then taehyung flinched as his bedroom door creaked open.

"tae?"

taehyung relaxed to see jimin through the crack in his door, peering at him with wide, concerned eyes.