in order to survive ; taegi

one

sorry i couldn't stay, honey. make sure you eat & love you lots!
-mom

taehyung's eyes ran over the yellow post it on the kitchen table, next to a plate of pancakes. he read the note again, and felt the bitterness wash over him for the millionth time. his mother was always busy; it was as if she wasn't even with him. she'd leave for work early in the morning and come back home by the time taehyung was already asleep, and he knew she didn't want to do it that way, but it didn't stop the sour taste from filling up his lungs whenever he walked into an empty apartment after school.

he always heard her on the phone, calling relatives to ask them to loan them money because she couldn't pay the bills and she didn't have enough cash to buy all of the groceries. taehyung put the note back on the kitchen table and drank the glass of milk that was next to the pancakes.

tae, baby, i'm sorry we don't have anything to eat for tonight.

no mom, it's okay.

go eat at a friend's house, alright?

mom, i'm fine. i promise.

he wrapped up the plate of food in saran wrap and pushed it into their fridge. his mother could eat it later when she needed to.

his doorbell rang merely seconds later, and taehyung closed the fridge and made his way to the door.

"hey jimin."

he shut the door and they went down the stairs, jimin sliding down the metal railing.

"how was work last night?" jimin asked with a hand running through his hair. he had a habit of doing that.

"terrible," taehyung grumbled. "some psycho customer went and broke a bottle of soda on the floor, and i had to clean it up." he pulled a ten dollar bill from his pocket. "this is all i have saved up. months and months of hard work with crazy customers and a dickwad boss, and we're about to lose our shitty little apartment now."

"are you really?"

"my uncle's paying half of this month's rent."

"shit."

"yeah."

they separated to go to their classes once they got inside the school, and taehyung made his way to the back of the chemistry classroom, holding his books in one arm and carrying a binder in the other.

"ayo, tae." hoseok's voice was especially bright; a chirp hitting the ceiling and bouncing off in the room.

"i didn't do the homework. graveyard shift last night." and then taehyung gave him the look he always gave him when he needed homework answers, where he'd raise one eyebrow and do a little half smile where only one eye crinkled at the outer corners. it always worked.

hoseok reached into his backpack.

"sure," he said, and then he waited a beat before sitting back up and zipping up his bag again. "except i didn't do it either."

"hoe, really?"

"at least we fail together."

"hoe."

"sorry."

ہ ہ ہ

the apartment was dark.

cold and dark.

and empty.