Moments

Mutual

"Yeah?" God, he looks so hopeful.

Isak leans up and kisses his boyfriend. "Let me change into some sweats."

"Take your time. I'll grab the bottle of champagne from the kitchen."

"There's champagne?" Isak strips off his jeans and sweater, not missing the hungry look that Even gives him.

"Mmm hmm."

In the minute or so that Even takes to get to the kitchen and back, Isak gathers himself. He'd been so stupid. Why? Why did he always assume the worst?

"You okay?"

Even's voice snaps Isak back to the moment. He's standing in the middle of the room with one leg in a pair of sweatpants and the other out.

"Yeah." Isak finishes dressing. His limbs feel heavy. Like he's just run a marathon.

"Come sit with me?" Even extends his hand. His eyes shine in the soft light.

Fuck. He's so gorgeous.

Isak lets Even lead him to the bed, and they sit across from each other. It's not ideal. Isak wants to touch him, feel his body warm and real under his hands. But Even has apparently planned this all out, and Isak doesn't want to ruin it any more than he already has.

"So," Even begins, a soft smile on his full lips. "We should talk."

A stone drops into Isak's stomach, but he nods. "Y-yeah."

Immediately, Even reaches across and grabs Isak's hand. "Chill, babe. It's all good."

"Yeah?" A glimmer of hope blossoms in Isak's chest.

"Let's talk about what you overheard in the hall the other day."

"You and Eskild."

"Me and Eskild."

"Talking about tonight?"

Even nods. "That's all it was, I swear."

"I believe you."

Even squeezes his hand and twines their fingers together.

Isak looks down at their joined hands as Even's long thumb strokes his skin.

"I didn't mean to freak you out, Isak, but...this does sort of expose a problem."

Isak nods. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, babe. Just...help me understand where your head went."

Isak has to think about that because he isn't even sure of the answer. "I...whenever something good happens, something bad inevitably follows. Like, it's karmic retribution or something. Life has a way of pulling the rug out from under me."

"Karma for what?"

Isak ducks his head. "I'm not a good person, Even."

Even tugs his hand slightly. "Yeah, you are."

Isak meets his eyes. "I'm not. I want to be, though. I'm trying to be."

The older boy smiles. It's the kind of smile adults give to children. Like they know better and are only indulging them. It's infuriating to have it directed at him by his own boyfriend.

"You don't know everything about me," Isak snaps.

Even doesn't raise his voice. "Agreed. And you don't know everything about me. So, I understand if you're having...trust issues where I'm concerned."

"I trust you," Isak counters reflexively.

Even arches an eyebrow. "Is that how this latest freakout came about? Because you trusted me?"