Reality / / Niall Horan(Completed)

Chapter 14.

Rachel's P.O.V.

It's been a month and a few weeks. A month and a few weeks since my mother died of cancer, since she left me. It's been a month since we left Spain for Italy. 3 weeks since we left Italy for Australia. 2 weeks and 3 days since we left Australia for New Zealand. 2 weeks since we left New Zealand for the island of Corse off of France. A week since we left Corse for the British Virgin Islands. We were slowly inching closer and closer back to London. We only had so much time before Niall had to go back to start preparing for his tour. We could only disobey management for so long. We practically broke all our promises we made. We hadn't been in contact with the others like we said, we posted on twitter as to not worry the fans, and we answered a couple of the many, many calls from management but besides that, we didn't talk to anyone. We stayed well hidden, flying to a new place once we had been spotted by a fan or a pap.

The worst was to come; we were both stepping on eggshells around the topic. No matter how much I wanted him to stay; I couldn't keep him from his tour. I could cost him his job, and I couldn't do that. We only had a few days before he would have to go back. Till we both had to go back.

Niall would go back to the boys and start preparing for their world tour. Back to craziness and hectic schedules. Interviews, shows, signings and appearances. Filling his days, with little to no time to spare. Making millions of girls fall in love with him on a daily basis, stealing their hearts with a blinding smile.

I would go back, and just disappoint. I've changed since the last performance I had, my last interview or appearance. I'm not the same as what the fans remember me as. It was like I had done a complete 360 of who I used to be. This bubbly, goofy, loud, talkative girl. An optimist, you could say. Everything was possible if you just tried. I took chances and went against my gut feeling. The rush of adrenaline on a rollercoaster was basically my life. I took everything hand in hand and always had a smile. Fast tracked up beat songs filled my albums. Bright outfits and beautiful stage dresses for performances. Now I was quieter, soft spoken, thoughtful. More of a realist. I wasn't going to waste my time on things that would get me hurt in the end, if I knew it wasn't going to end well. All my walls were up, I knew everything wasn't as nice at it seemed now. I took everything with a grain of salt. I haven't sung since my last performance. It didn't feel right. All of those happy go lucky party and love songs, they weren't me. They were what the public wanted me to be. I didn't where too bright things anymore, or big dresses. It was more of a pair of jeans or leggings, with a band t-shirt and a pair of sneakers. I didn't feel like trying, I shouldn't have to impress people. If these people were a fan of me and my music, they should respect my choice and not worry. It shouldn't matter what I wear, or how I look.

All I knew was that I was sure to disappoint some people.

****

I booked the tickets for our flight back to London, while Niall was taking a shower. Once I confirmed the seats, I called up management so they could make sure there were security guards to help us get to our cars in case of paparazzi. I spent a few minutes talking to our top security people, before it was handed back to another member of our management team.

"Do you know if Simon's in town?" I asked gnawing on the inside of my lip. She made a quick reply of 'yes' as she rapidly typed away at the keyboard I was sure was in front of her.

"Could you make an appointment for me with him when I get back?" I chewed on my thumbnail as I waited for her answer, which came shortly after the tapping of her keys seized and the clicking of her mouse could be heard.

"He's free on Thursday at two p.m." She said.

"That'll do, could you schedule in an appointment for me? All right thank you" I said waiting a moment for her reply then clicked the red end button on my phone screen.