The General and the Princess

Chapter 7 || Kiva

Ignoring the calluses forming on her hands, Kiva heaved the wooden handles of the stretcher onto her shoulders and made her way through the teeming makeshift hospital to an empty cot recently vacated by a now-deceased refugee. After the debacle at the council the day before, Kiva threw herself into volunteering in the hospital tent if only to give herself space from Inver and the harsh judgment of the council. As she made her way through the winding rows of cots, she felt hands weakly grab at her body and clothes trying to get her attention, and it was all she could to do to block out the screams of pain. The few Lavri Resistance doctors were running around madly, trying to use the few hands and resources available to heal the wounded soldiers and refugees.

At a scream of pain, Kiva paused and knelt beside the body of a boy younger than she. An encrusted strip of cloth covered his head, dried blood caked on his forehead. His face was gaunt, and glistening sweat beads evidenced a high fever. His eyes, pupils dilated, looked at her crazed. His body shook from the fever, and Kiva wrapped the blanket closely around him.

One of his hands shakily rose and grabbed her arm, the cold clammy skin squeezing her arm so tightly that it startled her. Big brown eyes stared at her.

"Kill me. Kill me now."

She felt him start to shake harder until the cot creaked ominously.

His grip weakened, and he whispered, "Kill me."

His eyes bulged larger, saliva dripping from his lip as he mumbled the words, now slurred beyond recognition. Dread and nausea rose inside of Kiva as she pried herself loose, backing away nervously and nearly knocking over an occupied stretcher. She looked around hastily, hoping no one had seen her panic.

As she backed away, his screams followed her. His back arched, and his body undulated on the bed.

The child screamed, voice high and ghostly, "Kill me. Kill me. Kill me."

Kiva pushed her way towards the only door, shoving people, beds, and medical equipment out of her way as she sprinted for fresh air. She stopped at the exit, resting her arm and sagging against a tent post. Her breath shuddered in her lungs as ashe tried to calm her mind and regain her composure. I can't. I can't do this anymore. Her heart was pounding, a drum beating through her head, echoing, "Kill me, kill me, kill me".

Kiva stumbled away from the doorway and slumped to the ground against a tree, allowing her head to rest in her hands for a brief moment. Why can't I be strong enough? One dying boy should not be enough to send her to her knees. There were hundreds, thousands of dying boys out there. Really, she should just be grateful it was not Justyn or another Lavri warrior. These rationalizations did little to shake the horror that had settled in her soul.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but are you alright?"
Startled by the voice, Kiva looked up into the crackling green eyes of Riyel, the new general from Sari. Upon meeting her gaze, his eyes widened slightly with recognition. Wonderful. Someone else to judge me based on my mistaken reputation.

"May I help you up?"

Despite what he had seen of her, the young captain proffered his hand and Kiva hesitantly accepted. She sprung to her feet, dropping his hand and backing away from him. She could feel panic screaming its sing-song in her ears. He touched you. Remember that? Do you remember, Kiva? Her eyes scanned the horizon for something, someone, searching. Always searching. She seemed to forget the young man before her for a moment. Finally, she took a deep, jagged breath and calmed herself.

"I'm...I'm sorry. I'm supposed to hold it together, but I'm just not..." she spit the words out like a bad taste.

Riyel leaned against a tree and watched her with keen interest, his eyes staring intently at her. His gaze was startlingly green and alive, reminding her of the new life that bloomed in Lavri's forest every spring. Kiva self-consciously looked away. One more person to watch my disintegration.

"What happened?" he asked finally.

His voice drew her gaze, and their eyes locked again. "A boy just asked me to kill him. A boy. Not a man, or a warrior, or a soldier. A boy. He screamed at me, begged me to end it all. What's wrong with us that death seems a good alternative to living in this hellish world?"

What was worse was that Kiva could empathize with the boy—hadn't she wished the same thing? For the same end to her own pain? Kiva wanted to explain why all of this affected her so deeply, but the emotion wriggling at the base of her throat threatened her calm. Was she more terrified by the boy's screams or by the fact that they so closely echoed her own internal cry? She could feel Riyel's discerning gaze assessing her just as he had assessed the situation so analytically during the earlier council meeting.

The young general interrupted Kiva's thoughts, "I'm sorry you had to witness that. I hate what's happened to Zeina, and I hate that anyone should ever want to beg for death. I hate this whole blasted war, the killing, the brokenness. It feels as if a knife has severed every single person's heart somehow. No one is left unbroken."

Riyel paused his rant to stare deep into Kiva's eyes, stunning her with his intensity. She had not anticipated his outburst but found herself nodding along with his words. He somehow understood the pain that undergirded every hardened heart in Lavri. His warm gaze pleaded with her to understand, and she did. Before Kiva could respond, he smiled at her, turned, and walked away.

She was left alone with thoughts that whispered doubt and panic through her bloodstream.  

~~~~~

Sorry for the shorter chapter this week :( 

What do you think of Riyel so far? Can you imagine living like Kiva with so much pain in your past? Thanks so much for reading! Please vote, comment, and keep reading :)

~ Hannah