Chapter 19

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Ten Years after Start of Program

"Yeah, Gina sound great...but honestly, I'd rather meet Clarke if given the chance." Octavia informed Bellamy, cutting him off as he was in the middle of regaling his latest date with his girlfriend to his sister.

"Well, you're not going to get either." He grumbled, a little annoyed that his sister seemed perpetually bored with his stories of Gina, and only perked up when Clarke was involved. Obviously if he could date Clarke he wouldn't be opposed, but Clarke didn't like him that way and he was pretty happy in his nearly six-month relationship with Gina.

"I'm just saying." Octavia held up her hands in a 'surrender' motion.

"I think you're just sour because you can't have a boyfriend." He said, and sort of regretted it the moment he said it.

"You're right. I am." Octavia turned around sharply, and curled herself in the blanket, "Thanks for reminding me."

Bellamy rubbed his hands over his face. He'd been totally insensitive. God, that was just a jackass comment.

"O..."

"What does mom expect me to do, Bell?" She finally looked up at her older brother, biting her lip and trying not to cry, "I'm fifteen. I want to fall in love, have a family. I want what you have. And that's even too much to ask."

In reality, he was pretty sure his mother hadn't even imagined they'd make it this far with Octavia. As far as he knew, this was the longest anyone had ever successfully hid a second child, unless there was some 18-year-old out there somewhere (which, there very well could be, because no one would know) but he sort of wished he could because maybe then they'd ask him or her how they dealt with adulthood.

She wasn't a child anymore. It was silly to expect her to be satisfied with ragdolls and ribbons. Was life worth living if you never got to amount to anything? Never got to love another person beside your family? Never got to make friends? It was very philosophical questions Bellamy had always been afraid to really think too hard about, for Octavia's sake.

"I don't know." He sat besides her, giving a long sigh.

"I figured." She sniffled, wiping away her tears.

"One day, I'll figure something out." He murmured, "One day maybe I'll be high enough to be able to pardon you and mom from your crimes. One day is better than nothing."

"Unless it's built on false hope." Octavia replied, twiddling her thumbs, "I don't think too much about it. It's just hard to hear about you and Gina. I'm happy for you, really."

"Thanks O." He checked his watch, "Speaking of which, I'm meeting her to have dinner with the gang. Want me to try to bring stuff back?"

"Uh, duh!" Octavia rolled her eyes, "Especially if it's bacon. Don't even eat it for yourself, just bring the whole pan back here." She teased, forcing a grin on her face.

"I'll make up some lie that the meat was contaminated...or something." He agreed, playing along, "Confiscate it...for their safety."

He tipped his head to her, and locked their door behind him.

News traveled obnoxiously fast here, even if you weren't on the Guard. Since Bellamy was, however, he heard about every incident within a day of anything happening, from locker-room gossip or to official meetings with Shumway and Miller to explain what the procedure would be. So, it was very uncommon for something to happen without Bellamy knowing about it first.

Yet he realized that must be the case, for when he walked into the hangout place, there was no happy chatter or playful teasing between anyone. It was just silent and morbid.

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