When Stars Align || G. Lafayette

Chapter 4

I pulled out my journal as they left. I flipped to one of my many portraits of my mother, drinking in every detail of her face. I looked at every hard line and every curve, my tears threatening to spill as I wished more than anything to just once see that gorgeous woman standing in front of me.

They shut the door, and that's when I was finally done supressing my emotions.

The tears that had been pricking the corners of my eyes now streamed down my cheeks, ruining my drawing as they soaked my journal. She was gone? How long had she been gone?

Loud sobs shook my entire body as I sat cross legged, hunched over my journal. I was in utter disbelief. I had never even gotten to know her.

I drew in a shaky breath in an attempt to calm myself, but it hardly lasted a second. Tears covered my face and filled my hands as I cried with the force of ocean waves battling the cliffside.

"Y/N?" a quiet voice behind me asked. I slowly lifted my head, almost afraid to turn around and see him standing behind me.

"Can you leave?" I asked as nicely as I could manage.

"Why are you crying? What is wrong?" Lafayette asked, rushing to my side.

"It is nothing." I took a deep breath. "Can you just pretending you did not see me?"

"Not anymore; I 'ave just walked in on you sobbing," he said softly.

"Just do not say anything. Is nothing. I am fine." I shook my head, running my hand through my hair.

"Hé, no you are not. What happened?" He took a seat next to me on my bed, dripping water onto my sheets from his rain-soaked clothing. I finally looked at him. His kind brown eyes filled with concern as he examined my expression. Could I tell him?

"Is Hamilton an orphan? Was Laurens serious?" I asked, longing for him to tell me it wasn't true.

"I- What?" Lafayette asked, taken aback, "What does that 'ave to do with anything?"

"Just answer me. S'il vous plaît," I said.

"Yes. 'E is an orphan. Now can you tell me why you were crying?"

Another sob escaped me at his words, and I was soon weeping once again. Lafayette wrapped his arms around me and my breath hitched at the touch, slowing my tears for just a moment. He pulled me into his embrace that was cold to the touch but warmed me inside.

"Hé, you are okay. I am 'ere. You are safe." He stroked my hair calmingly. I inhaled deeply and caught the smell of old books and bonfires with my face nuzzled into his arm.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he finally asked. I grimaced ever so slightly, knowing that I couldn't carry on without telling him.

"I 'ave a secret," I finally said, "I am sorry that I haven't told you, but it's bigger than any I 'ave ever kept." He gave me a look of confusion, so I continued.

"If I tell you this, you 'ave to swear not to tell a soul."

"You 'ave my word," he promised. I took a deep breath before coming right out with it.

"Hamilton is my brother." I sat in front of him awaiting a reaction. I searched his face, the only sign of any feeling lying in his eyes. I wasn't sure what to make of it.

"What?" he asked. No emotion was in his tone. I instantly regretted telling him.

"Well, 'alf brother. 'is mother is mine as well," I explained. We sat there in silence for a few more minutes, him still holding me. He fiddled with a lock of my hair and I found myself unable to breathe anytime his hand even nearly brushed my skin.