The Purge {a.b} ✔

Chapter 16

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6:45 am

I stared at the sky, hoping that God would answer my prayers. I prayed so hard that Andy would come back. Why would I want someone that almost killed me to come back?

I couldn't help but want to see him again. To feel his lips back on mine again. I craved that feeling that I had with him... but not the one we just had before. That- that was something else. I didn't really know what to feel about it. Andy sure did hate me right now. He had every right to be. I don't know what to feel anymore.

But why, why did I crave him oh so badly? Was it lust? Was it love- no. We had only just met... You can't love someone you just met.

Maybe the reason he was hanging around me because of how vulnerable I was.

He had those type of eyes that just made you melt- Oh they were so beautiful! They tricked you into thinking it was a good idea to come with him.

I see now, he was searching sensualism. That's what it was! He wasn't there for anything else. He was looking for when I was most assailable. I understand now what I did wrong. I trust someone who was in it for intimacy. He was going to take advantage of me. Oh, sure I did not let him do that. I mean, I was still here of course.

Alone.. desperate and just wanting to be in his arms again.

But no! I would not let his desire to feed him, I will be strong... I'll try to be strong. I'll try my darn hardest to be enough.

But my mind couldn't help but go back to those sweet, tender lips. Why does my mind consume those thoughts as if it was a meal? I didn't quite understand. I knew one thing was that Andy was mad!

He was a mad man!

Treating a woman like they were some kind of- uh object! That's what he does. He treats them like they are nothing and then showers them with affectionate so they would give in to what he really wants to do. But oh how I just wanted to confront this treacherous man. Show him what it's like- what it's like to treat someone like that! But no, I'm only an innocent girl who is stuck sitting on a tree stump, staring at the sky.

What was I doing waiting here then?

Oh, that's right. I didn't even know where to start. I took a deep breath in and felt tears begin to stream once again. Why was I letting this man get the better of me? I couldn't let him do that to me- no I wouldn't let him! But, no... my heart chose otherwise. To sit here and still continue to cry.

I just wanted to go home to my Daddy. I missed oh so much. He was such a wonderful father. He may have been strict but he knew what was right for me. He was right about men. They were strange things, and right when you think everything is okay, they turn against you in a split second. They trick with their sly comments making you feel good. They hug you and tell you everything was going to be alright when in reality everything wasn't alright.

I trusted him. I trusted this man and look where it got me.

Stuck on this tree stump till forever it seems, or until someone finds me and kills me.

Oh, Father! I'm so sorry for what I did! I went against your will! I knew I should've stayed inside that closet. I didn't mind the thought of dying inside the closet. At least I wouldn't be here... I was such a disobedient child. That's what I get for not listening to Daddy. I'm such a dumb child.

Why was I like this? Why was I putting myself down like this? I'm an independent woman that could do anything anyone else can, right? There was no point in sitting her, crying about it. Crying doesn't solve anything.

Sure, it makes you feel good for those several moments... but it just makes you feel worse. But I understand that we all fall down sometimes. That's exactly what I needed. I just needed to let my heart breathe for a second and continue on my way.

I guess I could always go back to the house where we fell asleep- but that would just bring back memories! No! I wouldn't let myself get upset over what happened there. I set my way back towards to that small town. I knew I could do it.

I followed the path that we came from and kept my head up high. I didn't need Andy. I didn't need him taking control of me. I could do this... I knew I could. I just had to believe in myself. As long as you believe, everything is okay... that's what everyone says.

I watched the sun begin to grow stronger above me and I stared back at the ground. I was hurt, but I couldn't let that take over me. Andy was nothing but a man that liked to hurt people. So what if he was trying to help me? I would've been perfectly fine without him.

No, stop it! I must stop thinking about this repulsive man. I was just... just- what's the word?

Worried. I was worried about Father. I thought that maybe he would know where he went.

My thoughts went back to my dream. That dream looked much more appetizing than this reality. I prefer being dead over what I have to now deal with it. I sighed and dragged my feet over the pavement and pushed myself to keep going. That's what I just needed to do. I didn't need anyone. I was capable of doing this all by myself. Maybe I would be able to get over this and start a new life once the purge was over.

I-I....

I needed Andy.
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Someone new will pop up next chapter!