Death Note Oneshots

(Yep. You read the title correctly. I'm doing Death Note Oneshots! Get ready for total randomness, and stupidity that my brain has created!)

The Life of Handcuffed L and Light ~

"Your kidding me, right?" Light said looking at the handcuffs.

"I do not like it anymore than you do." L replied.

"How are we supposed to eat? Sleep? use the bathroom? And how the heck am I supposed to sexually abuse Misa if I'm handcuffed to you??" Light asked frustrated.

"You can still do all of those things, I'm just going to have to be watching." L replied plainly.

Light hung his head down in frustration. "This sucks."

L put a reassuring hand on lights shoulder. "Hey Light, look on the bright side."

"What bright side?"

"This will be very popular among the yaoi fan girl community. Maybe some people will actually like you."

Light looked at L, tempted to bitch slap him like a upset girlfriend, but he held himself back.

"Ugh. I have to pee.." Light groaned.

"Go right ahead, bathroom is down the hall."

Light looked at him.

"I can't pee if someone is watching me!!"

"Well I suppose that means you will not pee at all.

"Look, this isn't working. I need to have at least some personal privacy." Light said open to reasoning with him.

"Personal privacy? Oh. I see. You want to satisfy your needs as a male your age, right?"

"Wha-what??"

"Judging by your reaction, I'm assuming your embarrassed by this sort of thing." L replied plainly.

"I'm not!!- ugh.. Yes Ryuzaki your correct, I...want to be in private for a few minutes..to please myself." Light lied hoping he could use this time to actually use the bathroom without L watching his every move.

"Sorry. I'm still going to be watching you." L said as he piped a sugar cube into his mouth.

Light could feel his face heat up with rage thinking that he had just lied to Ryuzaki telling him he wanted to jack off for nothing.

Hours passed as L would eat sugar filled sweets and study on his computer as Light would daydream and read a magazine. It was 2am and Light was getting tired.

"Don't you ever sleep Ryuzaki?" Light asked the panda like detective.

L popped a sugar cube into his mouth, "yes," he said with his mouth full. "I always get one to two hours of sleep a night."

"That explains a lot." Light muttered under his breath.

After about an hour, Light had fallen asleep in his chair.

L smirked widely at what he was about to do.

Now, a lot of you may be thinking L is going to rape Light. The answer to that is no, but I like your way of thinking. :3 don't feel like a pervert, if Matsuda was to walk in at this moment, he would probably consider the same thing since L had a total rape face going on..

Anyways, when Light woke up and looked in the mirror he was in for a surprise.

The words, "I am Kira" was scribbled across Lights forehead in permanent marker, along with a mustache much like his fathers and some kitten whiskers.

Hm. What do ya know? Even L has his mischievous side..