The Real Prom Queens of Westfield High

Chapter Six

Author’s Note:  I hope you enjoy this final teaser for The Real Prom Queens of Westfield High, my new YA novel available at bookstores everywhere!!

Chapter Six

The next morning, I wake up to Victoria’s voice booming through a bullhorn from downstairs. “You’re burning daylight, girls!”

I pull the covers over my head. Daylight comes too damn early.

The next thing I’m conscious of is Victoria’s voice booming through a bullhorn—from my doorway. “Shannon! Time to seize the day!” I groan and fling the covers off my head. I’m greeted by the fat lens of a camera being aimed at my face by a man dressed in black.

“That’s just wrong,” I accuse.

“Up and at ’em!” Victoria sings happily.

I sit up in defeat, and she gives me a triumphant smile before spinning around and exiting with her bullhorn held high. I scowl at the cameraman.

Victoria’s amplified voice blasts from the next room. “Kelly, wake u-up.”

“Bite me, bitch!” Kelly doesn’t need a bullhorn. I stifle a giggle.

“Now, now, no need for profanity.” Victoria doesn’t sound at all discouraged. “After fifty-six pageants, I know how to deal with attitude. Miss Detroit once sabotaged my deodorant with superglue. I just smiled through the swimsuit competition with one armpit glued shut. It will take more than some sad, lonely high school girl to get the best of me.”

I hold my breath and wait for the sound of Victoria’s skinny body hitting the wall, but Kelly just mumbles, “Lonely, I wish.”

I hear Victoria in the hallway next, commending Amy for being up, showered, and dressed already.

“Okay, girls.” Bullhorn Victoria is back. “We need to seize the day! Meeting in the foyer in ten minutes.” Except she says “foyer” like it’s spelled “foy-yea” or something. At least ten minutes means I can sleep for another nine-and-a-half. I stick my tongue out at the cameraman and pull the covers back over my head.

When the three of us finally drag ourselves downstairs, we’re each followed by our own personal paparazzi ninja, and Amy’s the only one who looks ready to seize the day. Her weave is pulled back, and she’s already put on her Va-Va-Voom Red lipstick, which I have to admit looks pretty good on her. Plus, it seems to remind her not to suck on her lower lip.

Thankfully, Victoria goes over our schedule sans bullhorn. The day is going to be a patchwork of Personality Adjustment Class and Physical Boot Camp Conditioning with consultations with a licensed dietician thrown in for Mealtime Management Support. Our first day of Prom Queen training will culminate with Poise Perfection Class, which sounds like it might be painful.

Victoria leads us to the kitchen where the needle-thin dietician is already waiting for us. It’s obvious right away that Perky Patty is going to be a lot to take this early in the morning. Gleefully she tells us about the magic trick of eating grapefruit for breakfast. Too bad it will also make me magically super-cranky, since I’m used to eating actual food in the morning.

Kelly claims she never eats breakfast as she gnaws on her newly pink nails. Amy obediently chews her grapefruit down to the rind as if it’s a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and hash browns. I just sort of poke at mine, picturing myself squirting grapefruit juice into Perky Patty’s eye.

After we finish “eating,” Patty waves happily. “See you at lunch! Come hungry. We’re having steamed sardines and cottage cheese salad.” Ugh!