Strings

Chapter Nine

I look at the mirror and sigh. I feel different and I look different, in a good way of course. At the start of the summer I was that timid girl who no one noticed, but right now I feel powerful, I feel confident. Noah made me realize that I could trust myself, that I'm as good as anyone else. He kind of saved me. I listen to the music my phone is playing while jumping and watching my purple hair move.

Do you remember when I said you were my only one?
We were running underneath the California sun
Well now I look at you and you're still more than I can take
You're like a slow song starting to accelerate

All my life I looked for you
For arms that I could fall into

Everyone liked my new look. Link, Emma, Grams and Zack. They all complimented me. I think I improved myself by letting everything go and getting a little crazy. The day Noah and I dyed our hair was so fun. I should probably let go more often. I think.

All I can think about is you
And me driving with the Saves the Day record on
We were singing 'till our voices were gone
And I was falling hard
You were barely hanging on
And now I wanna chase forever down
With you around

I jump and dance and sing at the same time. I'm so happy. I'm in a terrific band, I have an amazing boyfriend, Emma and Grams are perfect; what could go wrong? Then the music stops and my phone rings. I get close to see who's calling. It's Kyle. I pick up. "Hey." I say. What could he be calling for?

"Hey June. The mail arrived!" Kyle says excited. I can tell someone is with him since I can hear a faint voice behind.

"Mail?" I ask not sure what he's talking about.

"Babe," someone different than Kyle answers through the phone. I can recognize who the voice is from, it's Noah. "the NYC Talent Show e-mail is here!" he repeats. My eyes grow wide when I hear the news. "We won't open it until Ash and you arrive. We're at Kyle's."

"On my way." I say hanging up and running to Emma's room. " Emma! Can you drive me somewhere? It's urgent." I ask her opening her room's door. She sees the hurry in me and nods. Emma grabs the car keys that are on her nightstand and we run to the car. I don't have to repeat it, but... Emma's the best. I tell her where to turn and where to stop. She has no idea of where we're going, but she still knows it's important for me. When we get to Kyle's I thank her. "Noah will drive me back home." I say getting off the car.

"Okay then. You owe me one now." she says and I laugh. I approach the main door and ring the bell. Kyle opens the door. He just grabs my hand and pulls me to the living room. Ash and Noah are already sitting on the couch with the laptop in front of them.

"I'm here," I say, "let's open the e-mail." I sit next to Noah and Kyle sits at my other side. Ash hesitates, but finally clicks on the e-mail. It reads:

Dear THE BONFIRE,
We are sorry to communicate that you could not advance to the second stage of the competition.
Best regards,
The NYC Talent Show crew.

My heart stops. I read and reread the e-mail. My mind still can't process it. "We..." Ash's words get stuck in her throat. I understand what she's feeling. A huge knot prevents me from breathing correctly. "We didn't pass." Ash says ending her sentence. We all stay silent, staring blankly at the laptop screen. We won't get the money, we won't be able to pay the studio, we won't record our album. Thousands of thoughts scream in my head. I turn to see Kyle. His hand are on his face and he's looking at the floor. Noah on the other hand reads and rereads the e-mail again and again. Ash is just looking at the front wall blankly.

"I guess we weren't that good." Kyle says standing up from the sofa. The four of us know what this means. The band is over until we save enough money for the studio. Sure, we can still practice in Kyle's garage, but we won't be able to record.

"I'll go now guys, bye." Ash says. She takes her bag and leaves. We're all heartbroken and I get it, they want to be alone, I do too.

"I'll drive you home." Noah says to me. We say goodbye to Kyle and leave. "I can't believe it." Noah says closing the car's door. He ignites the engine and grabs the steering wheel. I don't say anything, I can't. Words can't fathom in my mind. "Are you okay?" Noah asks.

"Yeah. I'm just disappointed. I thought we were gonna make it." I respond. I'm not dying or anything, I'm just plain sad. "What happens now?" I ask. Noah doesn't look at me, he's concentrated on the road. "Noah?" I ask again.

"I don't know!" he screams. "I don't know, okay?!" I can sense his sadness.

"Hey, you don't have to shout." I say calmly. I never seen Noah like this. He's happy and cheerful most of the time. To watch him frown is something new.

"Shout?! We lost, June! We can't pay the studio to record! It's useless!" he shouts again. His sadness turns into anger. I'm starting to feel afraid.

"Hey, hey. We'll figure something out. We can save money." I say placing my left hand on his right shoulder. He jerks his shoulder pushing my hand away.

"Save money?! June, you're clueless! Even in the rehearsals. You haven't even received singing lessons or something! You're just clueless about everything." he answers. He knows that his words are hurting me, but he doesn't apologize. I stop caring and answer him.

"My singing? You were the one who pulled me into the band! You are the clueless one!" I shout.

"Oh, come on June. We both know this is your first time in a band. You barely know what being in a band is about!" he doesn't care when he speaks. I then realize he just wanted me for my voice. He just wanted to win the stupid Talent Show.

"You know what? Leave me here." I say gesturing at the sidewalk. "I can walk back home." Noah stops the car right beside the sidewalk. I'm still waiting for an apology, but he says nothing. "Well, I guess this is over." I say referring to our relationship. He still says nothing. I get out of the car and he drives away. The knot I felt in my throat when I first read the e-mail is back. I feel my eyes watering up, but I prohibit myself to cry. He's not worth it. I just swallow the tears, ignore the knot and walk back home.

...

"He's such a-" Zack says through the phone before I interrupt him.

"I know. I haven't hear of him yet." I say while watching the clock: 9:37 AM. I'm still waiting for an apology, but Noah hasn't called or texted. I feel the knot again and I kind of whimper. Zack hears it and shouts something not to me but to someone in his house.

"June, I'm on my way." And as soon as he says that, he hangs up. I feel kind of embarrassed for not holding my whimper, but I know I don't have to be in front of Zack. He's seen me in my worst moments. When Zack arrives we binge watch Harry Potter. I try to pay attention to the movies, but I just can't stop thinking about Noah. I miss him.