tyler wandered the hallways of the hotel for a while. every hall looked the same but the boy knew each one was different. different numbers, different smells, different feelings.
it was very confusing to him. he wasn't sure how he could feel so much yet so little at the same time. it felt as if his trust, anger, sadness, and emptiness were thrown into a blender with the concoction forced down his throat. and now he was sick.
he wanted to throw up, he wanted to shout, he wanted to cry, he wanted to disappear. but none of those were options and the boy knew that. so he kept walking, hoping the bland and repeated hallways would somehow take his mind off the oddly unfortunate event. but it of course didn't work. he knew that, as well.
eventually he made his way to the elevator. the floor he was on began to feel suffocating and warped, so he needed to leave. he went to the ground floor and planned on exiting the building. but the enthused shouts of cheerful people drew him to the hotel bar.
it was odd for tyler to feel drawn to other people's drunken happiness, yet it was like a siren call. the call pulling tyler in and promising that he, too, could feel drunken happiness. so that's exactly what he was going to do.
the boy situated himself on a bar stool and almost immediately was approached by the bartender.
"whatcha having," the man questioned, a no nonsense feel about him.
"uh," tyler glanced at the alcohol selection behind the other man. "beer, i guess."
"id?" the bartender questioned, noticing the boy's young appearance.
"i-," tyler pretended to look through his pockets. "must've left it in my room."
"darn," the bartender pouted sarcastically. "gotta order something else then."
"do you have dr pepper?" tyler questioned with a groan.
"yep," the man smiled. "would you like to start a tab?"
"yeah, put it on taylor, room 321," the brunette answered, resentment filling him at josh's fake name choice. josh had chosen the name of jim taylor as a fake name because it's what tyler called him and what he called tyler. it was cute at the time but now it felt stupid to tyler. he felt especially hurt because he actually thought josh cared about him. but now it was quite obvious that he didn't.
"here you go sir," the bartender smiled. tyler replied with a half hearted smile before taking a sip of the syrupy liquid. he tapped his hands absentmindedly on the counter as he reflected on the situation.
as much as he now loathed josh, he still kinda wanted to fix things. it's not like he would go back home or be on his own, so josh was all he had. it would only be smart to have a good relationship with him. yet it seemed very clear that a good relationship wasn't what josh wanted.
the man seemed to only want superficial acquaintances and fuck buddies. nothing more. it would be very hard for tyler to even get past acquaintances with the man considering he always made it seem like they were closer than they actually were.
josh was somewhat like a set of locked doors to tyler. the boy could spend forever picking the lock of one door, only to open it and find another locked door behind it. it was frustrating, draining, and misleading. but tyler knew he hadn't really been trying to get to know the man, either.
it wasn't like tyler was without flaws or problems. like josh said, he was manipulative and narcissistic. he also had intense mood swings that had a tendency to get very annoying. so maybe their broken relationship was caused by tyler's reluctance to make any real connections. maybe the two could fix things and have a functional relationship if they actually communicated. but tyler was unsure that this was the solution.
"hey, you okay?" the bartender broke tyler from his troubling thoughts.
"sorta," tyler answered, the words sounding pained.
"what's on your mind," the older man asked in curiosity.
"are you gonna be like the bartenders in movies that help solve the main character's issue by asking them about it?" tyler questioned, a slight smirk on his face.
"maybe, it depends on whether or not your issue is solvable," the man replied.
"i don't think my issue is very solvable, plus it's a little too messy to explain in a few words," the brunette sighed, sipping his drink.
"then use more than a few words," the man urged.
"damn, you're persistent," tyler breathed. "but i guess i'll try. basically me and this person used to be getting close then a few shitty things happened and now we kinda hate each other and it's sort of both of our faults."
"ahh," the man nodded, holding his chin in thought. "just leave, you two obviously don't want to be close so don't waste your time.
"okay but i do want to be close to them. i can't just walk away." the younger boy explained resting his head on his hand.
"why do you want to be close to them," the man questioned.
"i don't know, i just do?" tyler answered in frustration. "is my issue solvable?"
"all issues are solvable by talking things out," the man replied quickly.
"but they did a really fucked up thing, i can't just talk it out," the brunette pushed back.
"what else are you gonna do? the only thing you can do is talk."
"i guess you're right," tyler sighed. "but what if they don't want to fix things?"
"you'll never know unless you communicate," the man replied, drilling the idea of communication into tyler's head.
"this is so frustrating," the boy groaned.
"feelings are always frustrating," the bartender commented. "and it looks like you have a lot of feelings for this person."
"but i'm not g-," tyler began before his attention was drawn to the tv in the corner of the room.
"breaking news," the voice from the speaker announced. "active serial killer in the midwest strikes again." tyler looked at the screen in dread. the person that had killed josh's family was killing more and more people. josh was probably next.
it's been a while pals, and that's because my dumbass decided to take summer classes !! aka my time is once more sucked up by school work and procrastination.
regardless,,,, ily
~abbi
