Absolute Guide to Bullying

Part IV - Why Do You Think People Bully?

(Question asked by emerden101)

There are supposedly many upon many a reason why people do acts such as bullying. There is one reason however that stands out among the rest. Actually, it's a little sophisticated, but it's a reason drawn from my own opinions and ones I've gathered from others.

I believe the main reason people would resort to bullying, is because of their own life. Yes, that's right. Their own life. Most bullies are people with a bad life at home and pretty much everywhere, and they find solace in their own anger. They use that anger to shadow their lives and the fact that they may be abused at home or elsewhere doesn't add onto it much.

Most of the time, this opinion is in fact.. True. Now, some of you reading this may be thinking, "Oh.. I didn't realize the bully was like that.." However sad you may be; you must remember that the bullying they do is NOT right, and they should be able to understand that through logic and understanding. As such, that's the best way to fully understand someone and their life: By relating to them in some way. Some of you may not be able to have shared experiences, but at least understand what they're going through as well.

Sometimes the best way to get a bully to stop is to befriend the bully and show them that you care and are willing to be friendly with them. Now, this isn't the "If you can't beat them, join them" line. Befriend, and get them to stop bullying by giving them reasons to. It's not always the most effective method, but believe me; I've seen it happen more than once. Regardless if you truly despise someone or not. The best way to understand others is to actually understand them and their life and do something in some way to help them.

This is something I ideally live by every single day. Leave no stones unturned. The best method to get a bully to stop bullying is to be the bigger person. ALWAYS, and I mean always do this. Show them that you're someone they could be and let them know that nicely. I personally, would attempt this method before I do anything else, because it is almost always effective.

However, as I have mentioned; it sometimes doesn't work. The best way to counterattack the counterattack is to keep trying. The thing is, try in different spots. Some weakpoints may be weaker than others, and the best way is to be the bigger person. Just in the right spots. Don't overshadow the bully who's already being overshadowed by someone else. That'll just make them attack you more out of fear.

No, you don't want to intimidate them. Revenge may seem like the best thing to do, but it's not. Become like an umbrella. Understand and reason with the bully and attempt to take the shadows covering them on yourself and show them that you're not only unafraid of them, but you're also not scared of what happened to them. Give them hope as well.

Reasoning is ideal. Reasoning is logic.

To beat some weaknesses like being afraid of the bully; just remember that they're also a human like you, and use that reason to attempt to talk to them. If they reply harshly, force them to reason with you. Of course, with words. An example would be telling them, "I understand why you bully me, and I want to help you."

Of course, most bullies are stubborn and would attack you even more and eventually shield themselves off from you even further or completely. Don't be so straightforward with them, but be reasonable beyond a doubt. Remember, there are almost an infinite amount of things you can do as a human and that includes understanding everyone around you in some way.

You don't need to relate or even share a similar experience with someone to understand them. Simply telling someone you do is a way to get them to open up. It doesn't help to be under prepared though. I hate lying, so I wouldn't tell someone I understand them if I honestly didn't.

The main goal is getting the bully to stop, but there is a lot more to gain from it guys. Don't brush the bully off because they do what they do. You're just giving them more of a reason to bully, because no one accepts them for who they are, but for what they do; and that's what makes them bully more and more.

The only reason some bullies may have friends, is because they don't truly understand said bully. They just follow him/her and do what the bully does. Which of course; would be bullying. Bullies feel more.. Safe when they have a clique around them almost always, because it means no one can help them and/or confront them about anything.

To summarize. Bullies are just people who are lost. They may or may not mean to bully, but most of the time, they're not fully aware of the damage they're causing. Sometimes the best way to make them stop is to make them see the damage they cause. I got this idea from A Christmas Carol. It's a great example for a situation like this.

Make them see their mistakes, and they will change eventually. If they don't realize what they're doing, then they'll keep on doing it. That's basically human law. More or less, that's actually logic. You take the killing thing between your teeth, and you take away their ability to kill.

What lines will be blurred, and what will the bullying experience do to both you and the bully or bullies is all up to how you make your stand. If you're going to make a stand, then make sure you stand up all the way. Otherwise, you're just going to fall again and it'll be twice as hard to get up and do it again.