Wanted

chapter 15: promises

Keep Me Crazy-Chris Wallace

Invisible-Hunter Hayes

Explosions-Ellie Goulding

 I purposefully block Harry's view of the foyer behind me. Zayn's light snores are still in hearing range, so I make sure to talk loudly. 

   "Harry?"

   He looks frustrated to see me here for some odd reason. Sighing, he runs his fingers through his hair, mussing it into more of a giant heap of curls. "Hey." 

   "Hey?" I repeat, watching the rain behind him. "Is everything okay, do you need anything?"

    "Why do I need a reason to visit you?" He asks grumpily. 

   Oh, I see. Asshole-ish Harry strikes again. I start to close the door, but his leather boot stops the action. "Don't shut me out, Jade." His voice goes from gruff to absolutely vulnerable and emotional. His eyes turn downward, a show of emberassment. 

   His once comforted me in my time of weakness, it's my turn to comfort him. "Hold on, I'll be right back," I turn into the house, make two cups of coffee, grab a blanket from the very couch Zayn is sleeping on, and run back outside to Harry. "Come 'ere." I say, sitting on the swing chair on the edge of the porch. He comes over to me, amusement written all over his features. Slowly, he sits, his eyes never leaving mine. 

   "You make me crazy." He says, so softly I barely hear him. I scoot closer to his long figure, tucking my sock-clad feet underneath his thighs and draping my blanket over both of our shoulders. 

   "How?" I say as I rest my head on his strong shoulder. Almost deja vu to where Zayn and I were hanging out on the couch. We're just friends I remind myself. I will not let myself feel guilty about something that was just as simple as two friends hanging out. 

   "I think you know." He nibbles on my fingertips, causing laughter to rise in my throat. He's so genuinely handsome when he's acting cute like this. 

    "I think you're too complicated and guarded for me to see past your exterior." I say, as honestly as I can muster. 

    Harry looks thoughtful for a moment, the porch light reflecting off the sharp angles of his face. "I suppose it's a natural defense." 

     "Ya me too, at least I'm not complicated though." 

     "Can I tell you something?" He asks slowly. "When my mom died, my dad left me alone. Even if he would've stayed though, I would've ran away. I never want to see him again, ever. He didn't even visit my mom when she was in the hospital, Jade." His sentences come out short and choppy, as if he wants to get over with the horrific story. 

    I'm sorry, as usual, is the weakest response I can come up with. I don't want to show him that I pity him, he would be mortified and angry. Instead, I kiss the corner of his jaw, tenderly wrapping my arms around him. He feels warm, and steady and I find myself so lost in the wreck that is Harry. I'm not used to being intimate like this, but with Harry, it seems like it's the most natural thing in the world. 

    "I was there, the only one. I stood by her side throughout that entire hellish year. I remember it every step of the way; her hair falling out, her eyes becoming clouded, her slurred speech and the way she could never remember who I was. I lost her even before she was gone." 

    Looking up at his face, I see a tear form on his lashes, and trickle down his face. I pull him to me, tighter and tighter til my back presses in the wood of the bench and his face almost looks uncomfortable. "Your dad should've been there." I say.