My Favorite Unnie [MICHAENG]

Chapter 16

The second I closed my eyes, a thousand of thoughts flooded my mind.

The selfish part of me whispered. ‘Just go and do it already. She’s just a few centimetres away from you. Move forward and claim her. Now.’

The more rational part of me said. ‘Don’t be stupid Mina. Don’t make things more complicated as it is. Once you do it, everything will change.’ This thought made me terrified.

Still, the thoughts came rushing in to me. As much as I would want to filter them, a darker, scarier voice whispered. ‘You know she’s just using you, right?’ My heart drummed faster not because of her lips inching into mine but because these thoughts panicked me. ‘She’s just vulnerable… She just needs someone… something to comfort her… It’s all about comfort, right?..

…She’s just toying with you.’

I immediately open my eyes to dismiss these thoughts. I can still see her face so close to mine, but I wanted to move away. I wanted to get out of the position that I am into. But before I did, I stared at her face for the last time. ‘This might be the last chance that I get to see her face this close’

I slowly cupped her right cheek with my hand and kissed her left cheek. Just a few centimeters away from her lips. She then opened her eyes, and we just kept on looking at each other. I know that she already knows what’s going on my mind. So she slowly backed away. She moved to my left side and sat right back up.

I now fixed myself and headed towards her door. There was nothing but silence between us. We can’t even look at each other. As soon as I reached out for the doorknob, I immediately missed the feeling of her arms around me when she bids me goodbye. So I searched for her and looked at her eyes for one last time as I open the door, with me leaving.
*****

I spent the next couple of hours laying on my bed staring into nowhere. I look at my clock and it read 3:15am, it’s been almost 9 hours since I’ve left her. I’ve been trying to sleep for so long but I still can’t. Several things still keep on bothering me. Images still keep running through my mind. Unanswered questions still linger inside me. ‘Is she really just toying with me? Can she really do that to me? But there’s no other reason to explain what she did.’

These things kept on running in my mind, giving me headache since I still haven’t had a single answer to any of these questions. ‘But if she’s really just toying with me, why did her eyes look like that? Why do they contain pain and hurt when I last looked at them. Does she love me like I love her?’

I ruffled my own hair violently trying to stop thinking. “Stop it Mina. Stop with the delusions.” I said out loudly, reminding myself. Chanting it as if it was a mantra.
*****

The next time I opened my eyes, a killing headache welcomed me. I just had 2 hours of sleep because of what happened last night. I stood up and walk inside the bathroom to wash my face. As I finish washing, and I looked into the mirror, I noticed the dark circles just under my eyes. I look like shit. I also feel like one.

I didn’t feel like doing anything today so I just return back to my bed and just lay there trying to forget everything. But when I was just about hide under the covers, I heard a knock on the door. I lazily stood up and irritatedly opened it cause it interrupted my slumber. But when the door opened, I was shocked to see the person I least expected to appear in front of me.

And there she stands, wearing simple jeans, white shirt, black converse shoes and sweater to cover her. With her signature earphones dangling on her neck, she waves at me and offer me an awkward smile. She also has dark circles under her eyes. She also looks like shit and it makes me feel a little bit better.