From the Depths of My Heart

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A/N: I wrote this to fulfill two prompts: Freya/Merlin AU where Freya is a selkie, as per morbidbookworm's request, and one that's too spoilery to post here.

Two other things you should know: This is a complete AU, so don't expect Camelot. The second is that leopard seals eat other seals.

It's relevant, trust me.


There are stories of women who haunt the beaches. Women cursed to live in both sea and land and are happy in neither.

The stories say they wear the skins of seals.

"Oh!" Merlin said, averting his eyes quickly. "Oh, you must be terribly cold, here - " He fumbled out of his cloak and tried to pass it back to her without looking. It took her a moment to stop crying and reach out and take it. "Did someone attack you? Can I help?"

She shivered under the cloak. "My sisters left me here," she whispered. "They said I was too dangerous. They left me here, and it's nearly dawn. People will see - " She broke down crying again.

Merlin understood only about half of that, but he could figure the rest out later. "You can come with me," he offered. "Or - well, the inn's not for a couple of miles, but if you prefer to walk, that's fine, but I've got a house here, and people don't bother it much, they think I'm mad - " He shut his mouth quickly. "I've got a bed and you can have it for now?" he tried again. "It's nearly dawn, so I think I've given up on sleeping tonight."

"Th-thank you," she stuttered, instead of running away screaming, so he must have handled that better than he thought. He beamed at her.

"I'll show you," he said. "You can have one of my mother's old dresses, come on." He led her back over the sand.


When he came back later to see if he could find any traces of those rotten sisters of hers, he found the skin of leopard seal. It wasn't exactly a clue, but it was an oddity, so he brought it back with him, but then one of his potions started boiling over, so he stuck it on a back shelf in his workshop and forgot about it.

The girl's name was Freya, he quickly discovered. He also discovered that she didn't want to talk about her past, that she was quite good at fishing, and that she frowned when the fishermen called him Mad Merlin.

He also discovered that she told wonderful stories, and that he could make her laugh.

She didn't know some things he thought everyone knew, but then, who knew where she was from or what things were like there? So he explained bread, and made some for her, and explained shoes, and agreed that they were quite bothersome, and explained strawberries and brought her some fresh picked.

Her eyes widened. "These are wonderful!"

Merlin was thinking of other wonderful things, so he blurted out, "Marry me?"

Apparently, wherever she was from had low standards for proposals, because she beamed at him, nodded, and kept munching on the fruit.


The villagers decided they were both mad, but that was alright. They were happy. For two years they were happy.

Then Merlin was showing Freya something in his workshop, and he absently asked her to get something from the back shelf.

She made a choking noise. He turned, frantic. "What's wrong?"

Her arms were full of the leopard seal skin.

"Freya?" he asked cautiously.

"You didn't even have it locked up," she said. Her voice was unsteady.

"Should I have?" he asked warily. Frankly, he'd forgotten about it.

"If you wanted to keep me," she said. "I thought you would. I thought I finally found someone who would."

Every sense he had was shouting at him. "I don't understand."

"I have to go," she sobbed. "The rules are clear, I have to go." There was a thrum of ancient magic behind the words, enforcing them.

And she ran out the door, still holding the skin.

Merlin did what any husband would do if his crying wife ran outside. He ran after her.

Something happened as she ran. The skin was twisting over her. Morphing.

Then she hit the ocean and was gone.

Merlin kept running.

When he was to his knees in water, he saw the leopard seal swimming away, and he understood at last.


So, he sent to her, you never told me you could do that.

Freya turned, new body lethally graceful, and very, very, stunned. Merlin?!

Yes, well, it's been a while since I had to do this. I'm sure it didn't turn out quite right. He made a few nervous adjustments to the new body. Magic's not easy you know, and shapeshifting's no exception. He nudged her gently. So. Where are we going?

I - why are you here?

Because you looked upset. A new thought occurred to him. Do you want me to go away?

No, she said instantly. But you can't stay, can you?

I don't see why not. He swam around her. It's nice down here.

I like the land too, she said wistfully. That's the curse. We can never really be happy in either place, and if we are, we have to go if we find a way to.

We can go back and forth then, he suggested. And we can play hide and seek with the skin. When you find it, we'll know it's time to switch back.

It's not supposed to work like that, she said hesitantly.

And strawberries aren't supposed to grow in midwinter. That's never stopped us before.

She laughed at him. Alright, then.

He couldn't really grin any more than she could really laughed, but he was sure she knew all the same. All right.


There are tales of a magician whose wife is a selkie. They live half in land, half in water. There are stories that they're happy, but most people scoff. What story ever ends that way?




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