Moments

Revelation

ISAK: [snorts and hooks a thumb toward his boyfriend] Him?

BRITT: She chose what they did and when. Where. Which film, which concert, where they ate.

EVEN: You make it sound like I was a pushover.

BRITT: [nods] A little bit. I think you get it in your head that because you're a little messed-up up here [she taps her forehead] you need to compensate by giving in to every whim of the ones you care about. But with Isak, you seem to be the one leading and it's nice to see.

EVEN: We take turns.

ISAK: Sort of. Anyway, even if I do let Even lead, it's because...this is all really new to me. He's my first.

BRITT: [a warm smile spreads across her face] Even is your first boyfriend?

ISAK: [shrugs one shoulder] He's my first...everything.

Even stiffens. He can't mean what he thinks he means. But Isak turns to look at him, his cheeks pink and his eyes wide, as if he realizes what he just said. Isak bites his bottom lip.

BRITT: Oh my God, you were a virgin?

Isak is bright red now. He jumps up off the floor where they've been sitting, swaying a little as the alcohol rushes to his head, no doubt.

EVEN: [reaching up to steady him] You okay?

ISAK: I'm fine. Just need to hit the head. [he stumbles toward the bathroom, stepping over and around the few other people conversing in clumps around Even's small apartment.

Even turns back to Britt, who meets his gaze with warmth, affection, and something else he can't name.

BRITT: I didn't mean to embarrass him.

EVEN: [shakes his head] He's alright.

BRITT: Are you?

EVEN: Huh?

BRITT: I take it you didn't know.

EVEN: [runs a hand through his hair] No...I didn't. I mean, I should have, but...

BRITT: He's a lucky kid, to have you be his first.

EVEN: Maybe...

Britt grabs his hand. Even meets her eyes again, startled by her earnest expression.

BRITT: I've never, ever seen you this happy, Evi. Fuck, I'm so happy for you.

EVEN: [smiles] Thanks, Bri. It...means a lot coming from you. I'm glad we can still be friends, after...you know.

BRITT: [squeezes his hand and lets go] Are you kidding? Sonja's fine. She met some guy at work. She's just fine. And you...you have the sweetest, prettiest boy I've ever seen sitting on your lap and looking at you like you hung the moon.

EVEN: [chuckles] He does, doesn't he? I don't know why.

BRITT: Well, it's because you did, silly. [she smiles] You're amazing, and he seems really sweet. And funny. Thank God he's funny, or you would go crazy...crazier.

EVEN: [shoves her with his sock-covered foot] Bitch.

BRITT: Asshole. [laughs] Hey, go make sure he's okay.

EVEN: [already rising] Way ahead of you.

Even winds his way toward the bathroom and knocks.

EVEN: Isak?

ISAK: [through the door] One minute.

Even hears the sound of running water and then Isak opens the door. His cheeks are still red, but the curls around his face are damp.

EVEN: Come with me. [he takes Isak's hand and leads him back to his room, closing the door once they're inside.] Were you ever going to tell me?

ISAK: [blushing, shrugs one shoulder] I did. Sort of.

EVEN: [takes Isak's hands in his] You said you'd never been with a guy, I just assumed...

ISAK: Yeah, well...

Even pulls Isak into his arms, wrapping him up tight and pressing kisses into his hair.

EVEN: I'm sorry if I ruined your first time.

ISAK: [leans back to meet Even's eyes] What? Ruined how?

EVEN: Uh, running out of the hotel naked?

ISAK: [rolls his eyes and buries his face in Even's neck] You didn't ruin shit, shut up.

They stand in silence for a few minutes, soaking in the silence and the ability to be with each other like this. It still takes Even's breath away that he has Isak. That Isak is his.

Isak breaks the hug and steps back, shoving his hands in his pockets. He takes a moment before looking up to meet Even's gaze. Even isn't sure what he's about to say and his heart is in his throat.

ISAK: Even...that night...that whole day, hell, the whole week...it was the best of my life, to that point. The fucking best. And if I had never seen you again after you...even if that had been it, it still would have been the best week. You were amazing with me. I trusted you and you didn't let me down. You didn't hurt me. You didn't make me feel like a kid. You...you were just...and I love you for that. I love you and I trust you and that's why I follow. That's why, okay?

EVEN: [can't speak so he just nods]

ISAK: [small smile] And, technically, you let me lead when it counts.

EVEN: [laughs] Jesus, Isak. [pulls him back into his arms]

ISAK: [laughing into Even's neck, his hands roaming over his back] What? You do. You're the little spoon. If we're being technical.

EVEN: [squeezes him tighter, kissing his cheek] True. [takes a beat] Have you ever...I mean, do you ever think you might want to...

ISAK: [his hands still] Let you be the...uh...big spoon?

EVEN: Yeah. [holds his breath]

ISAK: [leans back and looks up into Even's eyes] Is that what you want?

EVEN: [runs a fingertip over Isak's eyebrow] I want whatever you want, I am totally cool with whatever.

ISAK: [seems to think, his eyes wandering] And...if I want to stay the big spoon?

EVEN: Like I said, totally fine.

ISAK: But if I wanted to...try...

EVEN: [plants a soft kiss on Isak's lips] Anything you want.

ISAK: [exhales and goes back to hugging Even tight] I love you.

EVEN: I love you too.

ISAK: Britt's nice.

EVEN: [burying his nose in Isak's hair] She is. I'm glad you like her.

ISAK: That Julian guy, though? He's a little creepy. Keeps staring at me like I'm food. And I feel like I should know him from somewhere.