Where She Went

Memory Lane

Frozen. That was the only word that could describe the young woman. Her world, her being, her life. It was all lost in a split second. She was standing as still as a monument while the Dwarves moved around her. What did they mean his heart stopped? They didn't mean...no. No. This couldn't be where it ended. This couldn't be where Talia and Thorin ended. Especially after what just happened between them.

The young woman managed to find feeling in her legs, and made her way against the wall, across from Thorin's bedroom. She could see a figure walking towards her as tears began to blur her vision. She blinked to see that it was Balin. Talia held her breath as she saw tears rolling down his cheeks. He was looking at nothing in particular when she caught his eye. Balin widened his eyes at the sight of her, and all of Talia's breath was gone when his pained expression deepened.

She shook her head slowly, her frown deepening, and cheeks reddening. Talia took a step back as the older Dwarf opened his mouth to speak. No. She knew what he was going to say. She heard those words once, when she was seven, and they had sent her into a screaming fit. Talia didn't know what would happen if she ever had to hear those words again. Balin took a step closer, and that was enough for Talia. The young woman turned around and ran, dropping her crutch along the way.

The young woman shoved her way through any of the Dwarves that stood in her way. She didn't care how much her bad leg burned as she limped through the halls of Erebor. She could feel herself beginning to hyperventilate, but it didn't stop her. She lost him. Her Thorin was gone...he was taken by death. Death...a worse thief than even the dragon sickness. Death never returned what it claimed. Not now, not ever.

Talia ran until her leg eventually gave out. She tripped and fell to her knees, looking around to find herself in a familiar hallway. She looked ahead to see that right ahead of her was the hidden door...the place where all this chaos had started.

She still couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe he was dead. How? How could Thorin be taken from her before she could even... It was all becoming too much for Talia. The breaths that were taken at a pace much faster that she should have. The running with a sensitive injury. The fact that her love was... The next thing Talia knew, she was hugging her sensitive ribs as she began to retch. It ended when she finally emptied all the contents of her stomach, and then continued to hyperventilate as she sobbed her heart out.

She never even said the words. Those three words that she had been longing to say for the longest time. And now she never would. And the last thing she ever said to him... Why don't you take that to your damn grave? Why? Oh God, why did she say that? She didn't mean it...the second the words left her mouth, she didn't mean it. But did he know that? She would never find out.

"I'm sorry." she panted. Talia looked up, the thought that Thorin may be looking down at her was building up in her heart like it would soon burst. "I'm sorry!" she sobbed, burying her face in her hands.

Talia never thought that she would suffer any pain worse than when she lost Jimmy. She had never felt more hurt to be wrong. This was worse...far worse. She lost the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She didn't know how she was going to live without him, if she would live. A part of her felt like she was already dead. Talia took out the silver bead that Thorin had given her, and held it close to her heart. It was the closest thing she would ever have to holding him again.

"Talisa." The young woman turned around to see Gandalf standing behind her with Siggy in his arms. The Wizard gave her a look of empathy as he knelt down next to her. "What happened?" he asked, laying a hand on her shoulder.

"He's gone." she whispered.

The Wizard gave her shoulder a squeeze. "I'm sorry, my dear girl, so very sorry. I know it hurts. Whatever you need, I will do what I can to help." he assured her. Talia looked up to meet his eyes.