Despondency

You're Not A Name, You're Just A Face

Contagious Chemistry – You Me At Six

I woke up in Brad's bed. He wasn't next to me, and the bed felt awfully empty without him. It was a good thing that he wasn't here though. Then I didn't have to face him and blurt out something completely stupid that will reveal my actual feelings to him. We had never taken a step that big. It's always been small steps, both forwards and back. Never a huge step that means so much more than anything else, and it scared the crap out of me.

Before I could think anymore I heard footsteps and decided to close my eyes. "Clara?", I heard Brad's soft voice close to my face, which meant he was right in front of me. "Sweetie wake up". Wait. Did he just call me sweetie? Brad has never done that. Or has he? Maybe I've been asleep every time he's said it, I wouldn't know. But just hearing it made my body tingle and I felt like bursting with happiness. I pretended to wake up and stretched my arms out to the side. "Did you sleep well?", he asked and I looked at his happy-looking face. His smile was huge and white, and his eyes were a delicious chocolaty brown. I nodded and he bent down to peck my lips. His were awfully soft. "Come. I've made breakfast". At the mention of food, my stomach started to make horrific sounds, and I covered my belly with my arms and silently pleaded for it to stop. He laughed stood up straight. "Sounds like you're hungry". I blushed and quickly got up, only to forget I was only wearing underwear. I felt kind of vulnerable as I stood in front of the guy I loved half naked. I spotted a robe, and wrapped myself in it, before stalking downstairs.

The smell of pancakes hit my face and my mouth watered. "Did you make pancakes?!", I asked as I stood at the doorstep to the kitchen. "Thought I'd do something special for you", he mumbled and smiled shyly. Before I knew it, I launched into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist. "Woah there". Luckily he grabbed me and held me tightly into his body so I wouldn't slide down. "You're in a great mood today", he said and I stared down at him. It was like I looked at him in a completely different light. He was even more beautiful than yesterday, and he kept proving to me, that he was the most perfect guy out there. Of course he has flaws, but when you love someone, they apparently just fade away into the background. He seems less angry at me, and I get less annoyed with him. I know that this feeling will probably fade away at some point so I could be more rational, but right now I was just going with the flow. And it felt damn good. "You make me happy", I blurted out and instantly regretted it. I wasn't used to just saying stuff like that to him. His eyes widened as he stared down at me at a complete loss for words. "I do?". I could see the slight blush that crept up on his face, which somehow just made him even more adorable. "Well yeah. I know I don't say it a lot. But you do". He smiled warmly at me, and I smiled back. "You make me happy as well. Every single minute of every day". Now it was my turn to blush. "I don't know what has gotten into you, but I like it. Please don't stop being so happy and amazing", he mumbled as he set a plate of pancakes down the table after releasing me. I knew for a fact that not much could ruin the day. "And remember court is tomorrow". Except for that. My smile faded and he noticed. "Clara it will be fine. We'll deal with it tomorrow okay? ", he moved the chair out for me and I sat down. "-now turn that frown, upside down and eat". "Yes sir". I saluted him and he laughed before sitting down opposite me. I decided that I wouldn't let the law ruin my day. I just wanted to have a nice day with my handsome boyfriend who I have just learned to love.

After eating a delicious breakfast, Brad and I had gotten back to bed, as we both felt too lazy to do anything right away. He was lying flat on his back, his head facing my way. His hair was exceptionally curly today, and I felt the need to comb through it to try and tame it a bit. We just stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime. We didn't talk, we just laid there in peaceful silence. I hoped that when we reached our goal of finally letting Brad feel safe in his own skin, we could move on to something more. Something where we could both forget what we didn't want to remember, and where we could be with each other as we pleased. We've still got a long way to go, but I know we will get there. We've fought way too hard for it to just crash and burn.