Despondency

Take My Advice And Leave Right Now

Song: The Dilemma - You Me At Six

"Shall we go home?", Brad whispered in my ear after a couple of minutes of standing on the street. "Yeah". His hand found mine and together we strolled down the street hand in hand like we didn't have a care in the world. I knew Brad would go home soon after bringing his parents to court. This was real life after all. This was not like in all of the romantic movies where the person just pauses their life to be with that special someone. Brad had to go back on his own little mini tour around England, and I had to go back to school and work. I couldn't keep this up. I've actually regretted not going to school. I need some time off. I like Brad a lot, but I'm also afraid that we're becoming more and more depended on each other. I feel like I can't do anything without him anymore and I don't want to either. I just know that I can't drop my whole education for a guy. I also knew that Brad missed home. This was not home for him anymore and it hadn't been for a long time. He missed his apartment. He may not say it, but I know he's thinking it. My train of thoughts stopped when some girl 'randomly' ran into Brad making her 'fall' and drop her things. Brad quickly let go of my hand to help the girl. "I'm sorry I was in a hurry, didn't see you there", she breathed out picking up things that had spilled out of her bag. As annoyed I was, I had to admit that she was beautiful. Her blonde hair reached her waist and she was wearing a cute white top and some denim ripped jeans. Her makeup was maybe a bit over board, but nothing serious. This was the kind of girl everyone fell for. The popular cute girl you see in every romantic movie. "No worries. I didn't see you either", Brad chuckled and picked up a shopping back from lush. Brad helped her up and then she stopped. "Have I seen you before?", she asked making Brad furrow his eyebrows. "I don't think so?". "Oh wait I know you! You were the guy who played at that bar in Sheffield a month ago", she looked happy and surprised at the same time. "Oh you were there? Sorry it's hard seeing the crowd in such a dark place", Brad laughed. "It's okay. You were really good though". Was she flirting with him? "Thank you". I felt like an intruder. "I'm Hannah by the way". "Brad". They shook hands a little too long for my liking. She didn't even acknowledge me. Just like always I guess. "How long have you played?", she asked shuffling a bit forward. Suddenly she wasn't in such hurry anymore. I bet that fall was on purpose. "Since I was little. Back then it was more on the piano though. It was Clara here who got me to perform live though". Brad snaked his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him. I sighed in relief. "Oh. Cool". She started at us for a while. It was kind of creepy. "I better go", she said turning around walking away. Slowly Brad turned around also and started walking the other direction. We reached the car before I knew it and he began to drive off. "You're quiet. Why", he asked glancing sideways. "She was very pretty", I whispered fidgeting with my fingers. "I guess. She was normal". "She was not normal. She was a typical pretty, popular girl". "So? What does that has to do with anything?", he asked confused. "I just hate that every girl always flirts with you like I don't exist. I feel like nothing every time", I mumbled. He placed his hand on my thigh and sighed. "It doesn't matter Clara. You're not nothing to me. You're everything. Shouldn't that be more important than some girl?". I nodded. I guess he was right. "What was it that you wanted to say before?", I asked and he tensed up. Why? "Say before?". "Yeah. You started saying something but then stopped mid-sentence. What did you want to say?". "Nothing". I wanted to push him further than that but tensing up was the first step towards either nervousness or anger. I didn't want him to be angry right now. "O-okay", I stuttered. "Why are you stuttering?", he asked giving my knee a squeeze. "I-I don't k-know". "Of course you do. Don't lie to me". "I-I just thought you told me everything that's all". "I'm sorry. I'm just not ready to say it yet". I nodded and we drove back the my house again in silence. What was it that he wasn't ready to tell? I forever hates secrets. I just hope that he'll tell me once he's ready.