What Goes in to Getting Off

The 4 Elements

brain

visual

aural

physical

(plus emotions — see chapter on emotions)

Brain:

I heard once on TV that the brain is the most important sex organ. And I was like, "whaaaa?" I didn't understand but it was so weird, that phrase stuck in my brain, lol. After thinking about it for a long time (remember 23 hours a day), I tend to agree. Words can be tremendously exciting and erotic. Fantasies and your imagination can create sexual desires beyond anything you have in your real life. Emotions (see chapter on emotions) play a huge role in getting off. What you like, feel, see, hear, and want all connect thru your brain, so of course, your brain is not the sexiest organ, but it is the most important organ when it comes to sex. Know what you like, feed it to your brain, and BAM, pure good sex can result (even if you are alone). After all, the goal is satisfaction isn't it? A focussed brain can make the physical sexual release incredible and is the key to having much more than just a physical reaction.

Visual:

Pictures and videos, as well as seeing in real life the exciting parts of the sexual person you want, all play a role in sexual excitement.  There's a reason the internet is so popular! Could be cat videos, but I think it has more to do with videos made about the other kind of kitty. People like to see nudity. It may not be extreme closeups of one's private bits, or sexual functions (although people do want that too). But more likely, it's seeing whatever turns you on that you don't normally see, including teasing. For boys, I think the visual plays a much larger role in sexual excitement than for girls and I base that on the fact that there are tons more naked girls in this world than boys (strip clubs, online material, sex in advertising, etc.). But then again, it could just be that the world is still too much run by boys instead of girls. I don't know. But what I do know is boys almost always want to see a girl's bits, but a girl needs more emotion behind it to want to see a boy's bits. Regardless of the amount of desire or how it happens, both sexes like to see and share each others' bodies with their lover — or at least the person they want— so visual stimulation plays a big roll in getting off. This includes visualizing in the brain as well as looking at actual pictures, videos, or the real thing in real life. Seeing is exciting!

Aural (sounds):

Oh baby! F___ me! Mhhmmmmmm, you are soooo good! Moaning, whimpering, screaming, dirty talk, whispering in the ear — all of these sounds add to increasing your excitement and getting off. Hearing people moan, enjoying themselves, helps you to enjoy yourself as well. It not only adds to the experience, for some just hearing sexually exciting sounds can be enough to get off. That can include hearing body parts, like sucking, stickiness, rubbing, wetness, two bodies pressed together, or masturbating. Hearing can be exciting and certainly adds to the sexual experience!

Physical:

Lastly, there is the purely physical part of sex. Usually you can simply rub your naughty bits and get things going by pure physical touch. You can also usually get off simply by continuing to rub the right areas in the right ways. After all, our bodies can have purely physical reactions by simple stimulation even if there is no visual, aural, or emotional element. But this is not usually the most satisfying sexual release. While our bodies will respond to physical touch (from you or another), adding to that stimulation something with meaning makes the sexual experience much more of a whole body experience, especially when you engage your brain.  There is something powerful about getting beyond the simply anatomical automatic reactions. If you have someone you are into, thinking of that person or being with that person will be far more exciting than anything else. Of course, a combination of all of these makes for the best overall experience. Getting the best orgasm or sexual release involves the physical as well as the mental and emotional. When all three are working together, your body will respond in ways you never knew imaginable! This is why sexual activity with a lover that you are close too means so much more — and has such a stronger orgasm. Of course, there's lots of other complicating factors in there too — awkwardness, poor agility, not knowing what to do or have done, inexperience, poor self-image or lack of confidence — and many other factors that go into a satisfying sexual experience. So the best option is to be open, honest and giving with your significant other to have the best sex of your life!

Oh, and while it goes without saying, I think it's still important to say -- use protection!  Disease and unwanted pregnancy are no joke.  Have fun but don't be dumb.  Nuff said.