the 19th Hunger Games

Chapter 8

Oscar and I managed for two days in a row. After walking for hours under the blazing sun, drinking all the water we had and digging through the fish supply like crazy, we entered a part of the arena neither of had been aware about, meaning it was full of unknown danger. But also, it was a great place to track through and hide. There were hollow trees and small streams of water and every now and then we stumbled upon a tiny caves filled with berries.

“Let’s settle here,” I said after an hour or so of tracking. “We can climb up the trees quickly if necessary and I want to try those berries. I’ve seen many of them around.” Also, his ankle really needed some rest.

“You need to stop thinking about Lan,” Oscar said silently as he settled down, taking off his boot to take a look at his ankle. It was healing up nicely although I’d rather have seen him sit down for a few days. But I knew that was no possibility, and for the situation he was healing quickly.

“I’m not thinking about Lan,” I said as I ducked down and stuck my hand into one of the tiny caves. Only spiders and bushes were able to survive in a small space like that, and spiders weren’t anywhere on my fears list. I grabbed a hand-full of plants and then sat down next to Oscar, starting to carefully separate every piece of the plant from the other, putting the actual berries together, making a pile of leafs…

“Yes you are, I can sense it. Your mind has been wandering for two days now. But you have to let go. Sooner or later he’s gonna die anyway. You must not get attached in order to survive.” I noticed my hands were trembling and a lump had formed in my throat.

“I’m not attaching,” I said as I tried to finish my piles, but found myself unable to. “I’m not.” But I was, that was the whole thing. I hadn’t realised it before, until Oscar dared say it out loud. But that was crazy. I couldn’t be attached to a 17-year-old from a rivalling district. Not here, certainly not. And still Oscar was right. I felt betrayed by him that he’d left us to ourselves. I knew I could keep both Oscar and myself alive, but I’d been expecting, counting on his being here, us heading towards the kids from 8 together, and finishing them together. But now he was all the way back at the lake with Sylvari. I felt a pang as I thought her name. What was wrong with me? I sighed and just dropped everything.

“I… I need to think,” I said and got up. “Scream the second something’s happening and I’ll be right at your side.” I stomped off, making way too much noise, I ducked into the first hollow tree I could find. It was shaped to fit me exactly and inside the tree, I curled up into a ball. Images of my parents, people I’d know back in 10, even my annoying teachers, flashed before my eyes. Even Degenii was in there somewhere. Never had I missed anyone in my life, until now. Never had I felt more alone than here in this arena where everyone was going to die. I still wanted to get Oscar out of here, but I wondered too if I’d be doing him an actual favour. I’d seen the mentors of other districts often enough and never were they much of a pretty sight. Half of them had drinking problems, other were using too much painkillers... All had their own problems and trauma’s and you could see it in their eyes. It was horrible. If Oscar survived, what would he be heading to? Would he die from alcohol poisoning? And he’d have to train the next kids. Would he manage? In ten we’d never had victors before, but I could imagine how horrible it had to be to train kids, attach and then send them off to their deaths. I wouldn’t want to bare that burden no matter what.

   While my mind was still racing, my eyes slowly closed and I drifted off into sleep. But it didn’t last long, because suddenly I was wide awake because of the sound of cannons. Someone had died and my heart skipped a beat when my mind considered both Lan and Oscar. I wasn’t allowed to wonder for long though, because close after that I heard a scream. I cocked my head and listened, and indeed, there it was again. Oscar. I rolled out of my tree, jumped to my feet and ran in the direction I’d heard the scream coming from. Too late I realised I was running in the wrong direction. Oscar’s last position had been south of the tree I’d been hiding in, and I was now running north. But that was where the scream had been coming from. It was impossible for Oscar to have moved so fast, especially with his ankle, so what was going on? And there it was again, the same scream. Something must’ve taken him there, I thought as I sped up, still carefully lifting my feet high enough, not wanting to get my feet caught by fallen branches and whatnot.